Gone.

Chapter 13.

Enjoy.

~

Ashley

I sat next to Joshua, who rubbed my back, letting me release my tears. I had saw what happened on Craig's date and I couldn't take it.

"Did you see how he looked at her?" I asked, through my cries. Warm tears fell down my face, rapidly.

"This is why I didn't want you to see it! I knew you were gonna get upset, Ashley. But you're stubborn." Joshua said, handing me a soft tissue.

"I just wanted to see what she was like." I said, wiping my face.

"Why? You couldn't approve of her if you wanted to. Ashley, you can't be like this. You need to move on." Joshua said.

I couldn't move on. Craig is the love of my life. He was my first everything. The father of my child. We've known each other since middle school, and started a relationship in high school.

Joshua continued, "I know how you feel."

I looked up at him, fresh hot tears welling in my eyes. "You do?" I asked.

He removed his hand from my back, placing it gently on my thigh, in a friendly way. "I never told you how I died but I think now is the time.." He trailed.

He sighed, "My girlfriend and I were in a car crash. I was drunk, she was yelling. I turned to yell back at her and when I turned back..." He stopped, looking away from me.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"It was my fault. I know it was.." He said. I shook my head, "Don't blame yourself.." I said.

"Ashley, face the facts! Things happen to us and we can't change it. Okay? You need to realize that you're not alive anymore. Craig is still going to love you and miss you everyday but he can't bring you back. Christian loves you too. They'll always love you!" Joshua ranted.

"I just wish things could have went differently. I feel like this is my fault." I whispered.

"It's not.. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time." Joshua said.

"So, things will work out for my family right?" I asked.

He stayed quiet for a little while, "Yeah."

I nodded, not sure if he was telling the truth or not. But I accepted it. "Can we go back. I want to see Christian." I asked.

"Sure." He said, taking my hand, lifting us up from our spots on the floor. He snapped his fingers twice and we were at my mother's house.

My mother was siting on the couch with my older brother, looking at old photo albums.

"Are they still sad?" I asked, Joshua.

"A little but they know you're in a better place now." He said, softly.

He led me up the stairs, walking through the hallway. We walked into my mother's room, finding Christian asleep. Tears welled up in my eyes, as I watched him sleep in peace. I wanted to be here with him, but I couldn't. His small chest rising, then slowly dropping. The same rhythm over again. I walked over to the side of his bed, leaving Joshua at the doorframe.

"Chris.." I trailed, my voice slightly cracking, hot tears running down my face. "Mommy misses you so much."

"I wish I could be here to take care of you and daddy but I know another lady will take care of you both."

"She's really pretty, she's very nice and I can tell that daddy really likes her." I said, softly as tears continued to run down my face.

Christian slightly opened his eyes, looking around the room. I turned to Joshua, "Can he hear me?"

"Yeah.. He thought you were hear. He heard every word." Joshua said, looking down at his hands.

Chris sat up, rubbing his eyes, "Mommy?"

My heart felt warm again. I broke down, on the edge of the bed. "Mommy's here, little man. Mommy's here."

"Mommy?" He called out again.

Joshua walked up to me, pulling me into his arms. I broke down, crying into his chest. "He wants to believe I'm here. He doesn't want me to be gone."

Joshua's voice cracked also, "I know."

"Mommy?!" Chris cried.

I could hear footsteps coming toward the room, my brother walked through the door, running over to Chris.

"What's wrong, little man?" He asked, picking Christian up into his arms.

"I want my mommy." He wailed, into my brother's arms.

"We have to go." Joshua said, snapping his fingers twice. We were back where we started, in a small dark room. I continued to sob uncontrollably, while Joshua stood quietly, wiping his tears, by a window.

After several moments of silence, "I'm sorry." Joshua whispered.

When I continued to cry, he continued, "I didn't know-I didn't want this to make you upset."

"Where is your girlfriend?" I asked, barely audible.

Joshua leaned his back against a wall, sighing deeply, "She crossed over."

"You didn't.." I trailed.

"My sins over numbered my good deeds, so now I have to help people before I can move across and let them make my decision." He said, quietly.

"Are you scared?" I asked, wiping my face.

He sighed, "Yeah." He said, looking away, trying to control his tears. His bottom lip was clenched between his teeth, tightly.

My breathing was uneven, "Why were you crying back at my mom's house?" I asked.

"My girlfriend was--she was pregnant when the accident happened. She was so excited to be a mother. Seeing you back there.." He trailed, letting his tears fall. He shook his head, "Seeing how--how much you love Christian.." He stopped abruptly, burying his face in his hands and began to cry.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Please, don't.." He cried into his hands. I stood up, walking over to him.

I wrapped my arms his torso, pulling into an embrace. "Joshua, please.. T-this isn't your fault. Okay? Please, don't cry." I begged, tears also running down my face.

"I killed her.. I killed my unborn daughter! She didn't even get a chance to live because of me! What kind of father am I?" He yelled.

"You can't fall apart, Joshua. Please.. Just stop crying--everything will be okay. Please.." I begged.

He released his face, snaking his arms around my torso. He cried onto my shoulder, while we stood there, the both of us upset.

"I'm sorry." He cried.

~

The tears writing this chapter were real! Omfg. 5+ votes for next chapter!

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- McKenzie.