Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

36

Things shift after that. Austin lingers a little longer sometimes at drop off or pick up, asking Ava about her day or her plans. Sometimes though, he ducks out with a mumbled goodbye and a bit of a guilty-looking face - he is at war with himself and so is Ava. She is not pushing for anything, but something has shifted within both of them and neither knows quite how to deal with it. They're not sure what it is even, but it does scare them both.

During Grayson's softball games, Ava is invited to sit with Austin and the family although she doesn't get to speak to him much because Gracie's mother and Hope will often tie her up in conversation, Austin's stepmother too, she does not mind though as she enjoys them so much. She also takes lots of photos, she can't help it, Grayson just looks so sweet in his little softball uniform. "Don't think you will be able to fit all those pictures into the yearbook, Miss Ava," Austin whispers during one game. "These are for me," Ava says with a blushed face. "Oh? You have a folder full of pictures of my son?" Austin asks with a smirk and a raised brow. "I do," Ava says hiding her smile.

"Seems my boy has stolen your heart."

"No need for stealing - I have given it to him willingly."

Ava also visits their home when Austin invites her. It's still very much Gracies home - her pictures are hanging up and nothing has changed. Even the skunk card she made for Austin is still on full display right next to the cellphone cover he had signed for her. The picture Ava had given him of Gracie before she left is framed and sits under a large oil painting of the picture Austin had commissioned. But, Ava finds solace in the house, and with Gracie still very much alive within its walls and gardens it makes her feel at peace - almost like a homecoming. She joins them for family BBQs and even for a few picnics, she also joined them in clearing the orchard of ripened fruit to donate to the local schools.

Austin goes between talking happily to Ava and almost ignoring her, but she knows it's because he is still working through his feelings at a possible new chapter in his life. She went through it too and still battles with it herself. She gives him the space he needs and can't help but be patient. They grow a little closer each day and their friendship blossoms at an alarming rate. Austin's funny, clever, thoughtful, and kind - like he always was. He is a brilliant father and Grayson is the central focus of everything Austin does, every decision he makes. He gives Grayson the freedom to be a little boy and venture into the world - learning and growing in his own way, but Austin is never far behind to catch him if he falls. Grayson is everything and more than Ava expected from the child Gracie had so hoped Austin would have.

But, Ava's feelings toward Austin are changing. She is feeling things towards him that she never felt before and it does scare her. She often finds herself thinking absent-mindedly - a mix of want, guilt, and even betrayal. Honestly, it's making her feel a little insane. She does not know if this friendship will ever lead to something more, she does not know if Austin will ever want that - she is not sure if she ever wants that, but it still does not ward off this uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Part of her feels like a little bit of a fraud. That's how she finds herself one morning staring off with a cold cup of tea - her mind wandering long enough to have forgotten to drink it. She had just spent the afternoon before with Austin and Grayson as they had pruned back the rose bushes in the garden. None of them had any idea as to what to do so Austin had bussed in a few old women from the old age home down the road. Austin has taken notes while Grayson listened very carefully as the women explained what to do. Ava had watched while Gracie's two boys made sure her garden remained as beautiful as Gracie's soul and would do for years to come.

Gracie truly is so much alive in that home - not in a sad depressing way, but more in a happy celebratory way. Austin will tell Grayson anything he wants to know about Gracie and Grayson loves hearing about her. There are times he gets a little sad, wishing that he had known his mother - but, Austin is always quick to remind him that he does know his mother, that he knows everything about her and feels her love from wherever she is - he just can't see her but that does not change a thing. Ava had to check her emotions one day as she was helping Austin clean out Grayson's puzzle cupboard. Grayson had come in from the garden with a mix of yellow and red roses in a vase and placed them under the large oil painting of Gracie.

"Those are beautiful Grayson. Your mom will love those," Ava says.

"Oh, they're not for her. They're for her guardian angel. He looks after her for us in heaven, those are his favorite colors," he says then kneels and starts helping to sort out puzzle pieces. Ava looks at Austin who is watching her carefully, he gives her a soft lopsided smile. She excuses herself quietly and pops outside to the back porch before her tears slip down her cheeks. It takes her a good ten minutes to get a handle on her emotions.

"I am sorry, Ava...a few years back Grayson would get worried all the time that his mother was all alone so I told him about Carter - I truly do believe he is looking after her for us. I find peace in knowing she is not alone out there," Austin says softly from the doorway. Ava spins and looks at him, a fresh batch of tears starting and Austin is quick to pull her into his arms and comfort her. "I have always felt like that too. Carter would adore Gracie and she would look after him too. He will never be alone again. I have been angry for a long time that he never got a chance to be somebody in his short life...but, you have given him a meaning, a place, you made him somebody," she sniffles into his chest. "Sometimes I get jealous that Carter is with her and not me so I like to think he has gotten fat from the pies she is probably still baking," Austin whispers. Ava lets out a watery laugh. "If I know my Carter he probably can't move from all the pies he has been eating," she says. Austin chuckles and squeezes her then lets her go. "I told you years ago that Carter was always welcome in this house, Ava. I meant it then and I mean it now," he says, his face serious.

They have been through a lot, separately and together - Ava does not know how she would have ever made it this far without Austin and she thinks he feels the same way. But, the guilt and betrayal weigh heavy, and she thinks Austin feels the same way about that too.