Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

52

"You have made yourself comfortable, Peach," Austin says walking into the den. Ava had given him his space and took a shower in one of the spare rooms and is now camped out on the couch in the den. "Yup," she says giggling as Austin flops down next to her. "I have a confession," he says. "I already know, I saw your shadow when I stood up - sneaky bugger," Ava says, laughing softly. "I was just checking that everything was ok then you slap me with that story and then Grayson...then the fucking favorite thing...shit," Austin breaths out.

"Big feelings?"

"Yeah..."

Ava laughs again when Austin climbs over her, pushing her into the couch and kissing her. They kiss like teenagers on their parent's couch - it's ridiculous, but then her heart hammers on her chest when she feels Austin's hand start sliding around her body and then dip under her shirt and make its way slowly up to her breasts. She freezes, she doesn't mean to but she has only ever been with Carter - this is just new territory. She wants to, she wants Austin to touch her but, she is a little nervous. Austin removes his hand and lifts his head, looking down at her with a soft face. "Sorry, it's just...new," she whispers.

"Don't be sorry, Peach, whenever you are ready."

"Are you ready?"

"I think so...I want to be...I want you."

"You have become a lot more confident, much more sure of what you want lately...what's changed?"

Austin bites his lip and tries to hide his sheepish smile.

"I don't know how to explain it, it just makes sense in my head."

"Tell me, try...in your way."

Austin is quiet for a minute and it looks like his brain is melting as he thinks about how to explain how he is feeling to Ava.

"You are like water."

"Water?"

"No. I thought you were like water but you are not. You are not water at all."

"Ok...thank you?"

"I am not explaining it right."

Ava pushes him off her and sits up then climbs on him in a straddle.

"This ok?"

"Yes. Very ok."

"Ok. Now try again. Just explain it in a way that makes sense to you...it will make sense to me."

Austin sighs and nods then looks like his brain is melting again. Ava waits patiently.

"So...I felt guilty...and scared...Gracie's love feels like it sits in my chest now. In a glass. It's thick and rich. I was scared that every time I felt something for you it was like adding water to Gracie's love and soon the cup would be full, but my feelings for you would dilute her love and soon it would be so watered down I would not be able to taste it or even feel it...it scared me. I don't want that. But then one day I woke up and it feels like I have two glasses in my chest. Gracie's love stays - rich and thick, untouched while the other glass is for you...it gets filled a little every day and not with water - it's also rich and thick...just a different flavor. Does that make sense? Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

Ava smiles at him. She understands and she likes that he feels the way he does. "I was scared too. When Carter died it felt like a million holes ripped open in my heart. My love and memories formed little pieces of him and I used them to plug those holes. I started feeling like I had to pull him out and let you plug them - I didn't like that and it made me sad but then one day I felt Carter shift, he made room for you and now you both plug those holes - equally, and that makes me happy."

Austin smiles then pulls her down and kisses her. It's wonderful, he's wonderful. She breaks the kiss and takes his hand slipping it under her shirt. "I want to go slow but not because I am scared. I want to go slow because I want to savor every moment with you. I want to look back on my memories when I am an old woman and I want to remember every second that you made me feel like this. I want to remember every detail, every thought, every feeling. We don't have to rush...we have time, we have all the time in the world," she says grinning as Austin slips his other hand under her shirt and slowly moves them up her back while she talks. "I have fallen in love with you, Peach, and I am not afraid of that either...I like that, I love that," he says. "You sure know how to get a girl to let you touch her breasts," she says with a laugh. Austin laughs too then slides one hand around to her front, cupping a breast gently while he holds her steady with the other still on her back. "You have made me work hard to get to second base, Peach," he chuckles.

Ava lets out a nervous laugh and a shaky breath, her eyes rolling back slightly when he kneads her breast softly - it feels so good and it surprises her how such a simple touch can make her feel such euphoria. Austin suddenly stands them up causing her to let out a little squeak as she grabs his shoulders to stop herself from falling. He smirks and then lays her down on the couch and climbs over her, pulling a blanket over them and then slipping his hand under her shirt, kneading her breasts he starts kissing her again. She giggles into his mouth at how soft and even a little mundane this is, but it's perfect and will be a memory she will hold for the rest of her life. They kiss till their jaws hurt and Austin's hands never roam too far away from her breasts. Then, just when she thinks her jaw might lock, Austin shifts them again so her back is plastered to his front and they let sleep pull them under. "I am in love with you too...if you had any doubt," she whispers. "There is no doubt, Peach," Austin answers, his voice heavy with sleep.

The following morning Ava wakes up alone on the couch. A soft smile creeps on her face when the memory of last night pops into her head and she feels like a giddy teenager. It's blissful. She had been worried about sleeping over, worried about being placed in an uncomfortable position with expectations from Austin that she knows in her heart she could not meet. But it had been perfect. She still has to talk to Austin about sleeping arrangements, if she is going to move in she can't sleep on the couch. The den can not become their room. It does scare her a bit, bedrooms are so personal and Gracie passed in their bedroom - she does not know how she is going to start the conversation but Austin is patient and understanding. She thinks he kept her in the den not because he didn't want her in his room but because he knows it would be unfair to force her into a bed that still very much belongs to Gracie - it's not fair on any of them.

She gets off the couch and peeps around the house but she can't see Austin or Grayson so she pads down to Grayson's room and looks in. It's still pretty early and she can see the top of his firey red hair in bed - still sound asleep. When she turns to go back to the kitchen she sees the big double doors to Austin and Gracie's room is open slightly. She has not been in there since the day she had been around when Grayson was a baby and nothing had changed then - curiosity gets the better of her and she pushes one door open, stepping in.

Her heart squeezes. She had been right. This room is frozen in time. Even Gracie's slippers remain placed near the fireplace ready to be slipped on when he brings her back inside from the patio. Her book is still on her bedside table and the photos in silver frames still adorn the heavy wooden cabinet. When she looks out through the patio doors she can see Gracie's tea mug on the table, placed exactly where she had placed it on the morning she had slipped away.

She hears Austin walk up quietly behind her and her stomach drops. She should not be in here. She spins around and looks at him, he does not look happy - he looks a little upset if she is honest. She has infringed on his most personal space and she is not sure if he is ready for that.

"What are you doing in here, Peach?"