"Too Innocent To Believe.." Mark X Cesar Fanfiction (NSFW + CUSSING)

Chapter 27 (SUPER ANGSTY)

(Okay so this one kind of deals with deeper topics such as depression and self-harm with Mark, so if you don't want to read that stuff or are sensitive to it, then just don't read this one....)

-MARK'S POV-
Cesar has been avoiding me ever since the hair incident. And by avoiding, I don't mean FULLY avoiding me. He'll still semi-cuddles me at night. Like, he'll lazily drape one of his arms over me. That's about it, though. But, kissing and sex have ceased. He won't even bring his face near to mine anymore. I think the last time he kissed me was when Six asked if we weren't talking. Of course, Cesar said we were, and turned to me. He pressed his lips against mine, but it was like for a split second. I didn't even get to close my eyes before he was done. And then he just.. walked away. I was heartbroken, to be frank. I hate to say this, but I miss him. I miss his cute smiles and soft giggles. And most of all, I miss his kisses. His plush lips against mine.. I would trade anything just to feel them again. It's like without Cesar, life just isn't worth living anymore. I feel a tear slip down my face as I lazily brush my teeth. God, I look ugly when I cry. I let another tear slip at the comment I made about myself.
"You almost done in there?" Cesar's voice floods my ears as I hear a knock on the door.
"Y-yeah, just give me a minute. Sorry."
My voice quivers. For the first time ever, I'm actually nervous to talk to Cesar. What if he snaps at me for taking so long? What is he hates me now? What if.. what if he doesn't love me anymore..? I spit my toothpaste into the sink and wash out my mouth. More tears fall down my face just thinking about Cesar. I sigh as I put my toothbrush back in the little jar I have on the side of the sink. I stumble with the lock a little before finally unlocking it. Cesar awaits me outside the door.
"Thanks. Woah, you been crying?"
Cesar notices my blotchy eyes. I move past Cesar knowing damn well he isn't gonna comfort me or anything. Sniffling as I go, I head back to my room. And what does Cesar do? Just stand in the doorway and watch. Not that I'm mad at him or anything. I look back at him and see a tear run down his face. I guess seeing me cry made him cry as well. He wipes it away with his shirt and heads into the bathroom. I continue my route to my room, ignoring the fact that I'm going to be crying even more now. I pass Six, who is making ramen for himself. He looks over at me and sees that I'm crying. Apparently, he must be off his rocker, because he walks over to me as I slouch against the wall.
"Hey. You okay?" Six's voice sounds soft and gentle, almost like he gives two fucks about what I'm feeling.
"N-no.. I-. Ju-st l-leave me alone.."
My sobs are choked, and I sound like I'm suffocating on nothing. I wince as Six puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Sorry for the other day. I.. I didn't want him to actually cut it. Its just.. I was giving him suggestions and I guess he misunderstood it as pressure. I didn't mean for it to come out like that.."
Six begins to cry as well. I don't think I've ever seen him genuinely cry.
"C-Cesar.. does-.. he lo-love me anymo-more?"
Six's face turns to shock as he looks me in my eyes.
"Of course he does! He talks about you all the time to me. He wishes he could forgive you, but.. he just isn't ready yet. He said he just needs more time."
I sniffle and wipe my tears off my face.
"O-okay.. sorry."
I walk away from Six and into my bedroom. I then shut and lock the door behind me. God, what was I thinking? One simple mistake pretty much made Cesar so pissed at me. But he said he just.. needed more time. Even then, what if he changes his mind about forgiving me? What if..
Horrible thoughts enter my mind.
What if, what if, what if..
I sigh and fall to the floor against my door. I then reach into my pocket and pull out my pocket knife. I slide out the blade and look at it for a moment. It's so shiny, so elegant, so.. sharp. What if..
I put the blade against my dresser and see if it cuts it. Sure enough, it leaves a small gash in it.
What if..
The knife gleams in the light as I slowly put it to my wrist.
What if..
I wince in pain as the blade slices my skin with frightening ease.
What. If..
Again and again, I slice my skin, leaving small cuts and gashes behind. Blood gushes from every one of them. I don't feel a tinge of regret as the blood drips off my arm and onto my carpet. Finally, after about fifty go-arounds, I decide to stop. I put the blade away and watch as left arm leaves blood drop after blood drop on my carpet. Shit. I've gotta do something about this. I walk slowly to my bathroom and wrap my arm up in one of the towels. The blood quickly soaks it, leaving a red stain that might never come out. I reach into my cabinet above my sink and pull out some medical bandages that are super absorbent. I then wrap those around my arm. The blood surprisingly doesn't soak into the bandages. I then put on one of my many hoodies and pull it over my arms, disguising my cuts. Not gonna lie, now that the adrenaline has passed, they really hurt. I then unlock my door and walk out, pretending nothing ever happened..

                             -CESAR'S POV-
Six told me about how Mark is so worried about me. He told him that I just needed more time, and he said that was when he snapped. Maybe tomorrow, I might be able to forgive him. I look up from my phone and see Mark walk in the living room. It's evident he's been crying, by the way his eyes are blotched up. I decide not to say anything about it. He passes me and goes straight to the kitchen. I look back down at my phone and try to ignore him. A few seconds later, I hear a loud thud.
"Mark? You good?"
No response. I place my phone on the couch and walk over to the kitchen. My eyes widen in shock. Not only is Mark on the floor, he also doesn't seem to be breathing.
"MARK!"
I rush over to him and grab his left wrist to check his pulse. That's when I notice that it's not just his sleeve covering his arm. I pull up his sleeve to reveal a dark red bandage lining his arm, especially his wrist. I peel the bandage back and see dozens of newly cut gashes in his wrist. I start to feel myself get sick to my stomach. God, I- God.. I never thought Mark would do something like this to himself. That must be why he passed out in the first place. Because of blood loss. Tears start pouring out of my eyes as I carry Mark's lifeless body to the couch.
"M-Mark.. you in there?"
I try to shake him awake, but nothing works. Shit shit shit, this is not good.
"SIX!!!"
I yell for Six, which makes him quickly rush into the living room.
"Yeah? What do you- OH SHIT! MARK!"
Six rushes over and examines Mark's body.
"Fuck. Hang on. GABRIELLLLL!!!"
Six yells for Gabriel as a last resort. A puff of black smoke appears beside me, and out hops Gabriel.
"Do you need my assis- oh shit."
Gabriel takes one look at Mark and immediately knows what's going on.
"He cut himself, didn't he? I remember when Six once passed out like this for the same reason."
Six shyfully looks away, probably embarrassed at the fact that Gabriel just announced he cut himself in the past.
"Hang on. I have a little something that might cure this." Gabriel then reaches into the air and pulls out a large spellbook. The same one that made Six unable to hear us moaning. The memory makes my eyes flood with even more tears. Six puts his arm around my back as I kneel beside Mark's body. Large sobs spill out of me as I wait for Gabriel to perform his seemingly "lifesaving" magic spell. I hear him flipping through the pages beside me. I lay my head on Mark's stomach and just pray to whatever god that's out there that he wakes up.
"Aha. Found one. This one might also heal the cuts on his arm as well."
I move out of Gabriel's way as he steps in front of Six and I. I watch as he runs his index finger along the page before carefully reciting the spell. His words are powerful, and come out in long tongues of emotion. A little halo of light randomly spawns in front of Gabriel and goes straight into Mark. Honestly, I have no idea what's going on right now. I guess I have to 'trust the process', as they say. After Gabriel is done reciting his spell, all we do is wait.
And wait.
AND WAIT.
.
..
...
Soon, Mark's eyes flutter open.
"C-Cesar? Six, Gabriel- what are you guys doing here?"
"MARK! YOU'RE ALIVE!!"
I swoop down and give Mark the biggest hug I think I have ever given him. He's shocked for a moment, yes, but after a minute hugs me back anyways. I sob into his shoulder as he holds me in his arms. I see him out of the corner of my eye, mutter a "thank you" to Gabriel. He should be thankful. That bitch saved his goddamn life!
"M-motherfucker.. you scared the shit out of me.."
I take my head out of Mark's shoulder and squint my eyes at him. He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck before speaking.
"Yeah. Sorry. I- I don't know what got into me. I think maybe I just saw how enticing the blade was and-"
I grab onto Mark's shoulders and firmly squeeze them. I look him dead in the eyes dropping any playfulness I ever had.
"Promise me. Promise me you will NEVER do that again. Do you understand me?"
"Ces, I-"
"DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?"
"Yes, Cesar. Yes, I understand."
I drop my grip as Mark hugs me once again. Remember my words. I will never, ever get this mad at Mark again. Never. If me ignoring him for a couple days made him do that, then what would've happened if I continued? I spare myself the thought as I smile into Mark's shoulder. Right now, I'm just so fucking glad he's still alive. Mark pushes me off of him so I can't hug him anymore.
"Oh, come on! I wasn't done hugging y-"
Mark then pulls me shirt and tugs me into him. My lips meet his, as we kiss for the first time in, what seems like forever. The soft feel of his touch, the tenderness of his lips, it's a feeling that I've definently been missing these past couple days.
"Bleugh. Get a room, you two."
Gabriel pipes in as Mark and I stop kissing. I smile up at Gabriel and give him a silent thanks as well. And with a snap, a black puff of smoke engulfs Gabriel, and away he goes.
"God, Mark. You had me scared stiff, man. Don't ever do that again."
Six takes a shot at exchanging words with Mark. He sighs before answering.
"...how about a movie?"

     ---END OF PART TWENTY-SEVEN---

(Word Count: 2026)