Learning to live

Learning to live: how many more

At some point I had fallen asleep in Johanna's lap. I woke to the sound of annie and haymitch quietly talking. "He will be okay you know" Annie whispered. "It's peeta mellark we're talking about, if he can survive 2 hunger games and a hijacking he can survive this"
I heard haymitch sniffle and then groan. "It's not fair any of this and poor katniss does she even know"
"No she fell asleep a couple of hours ago, Johanna wasn't far behind. They've been here since 4pm yesterday. I only found out that peeta was in hospital this morning" Annie sighed.
I shot up wondering what haymitch meant by "does she know"
I sat up that fast my head went all funny and Johanna jumped up after me.
"What's happening" I shaked.
Haymitch looked at me apologetically. "Peeta is in an induced coma"
My body went numb. "But I don't understand. What happened?"
Haymitch pulled me into a hug. "They think it's his heart"
"What do you mean his heart he is only 22?" Confusingly I asked.
Haymitch seemed to be tearing up so Annie swiftly took over. "They think all the tracker jacker venom from his hijacking put strain on his heart. And over time his heart has become weaker and weaker. We got in touch with Plutarch so we could try and get his old team of doctors together. You know because they did such a good job reversing the hijacking. They should be here by tonight" annie looked horribly pale, her hair was in a bun on top of her head flying out at all Angles.
"Does everybody know?" I weakly said.
"no, Effie is the only other person who knows because she has Luca we didn't know what to tell everyone" haymitch added.
I nodded sitting back in the waiting room chairs. All the strength I had in me faded away I loved peeta. He is the love of my life. I had to stay strong for him and this baby.
"I better tell gale" Johanna murmured.
I nodded again. "do you think they would let me see him?"
"I'll ask" annie said approaching the nurses station.
I slumped back into the chair haymitch plonking himself next to me.
"What do I do haymitch?" I sniffed.
He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "I don't know sweetheart I don't know. I think this one is up to peeta and the doctors. You know the doctors will do everything they can. They can only carry him to a point though then it's all down to him. He has to fight. We all know he will. We all know he wouldn't leave you"
"Haymitch I'm pregnant" I sobbed.
He looked at me in a way I've never seen him look before and he didn't say anything he wrapped his arms around me and just let me sob.
Annie made her way back over. "You can go and see him, but it has to be 2 at a time" she softly said.
I nodded forcing myself up. "Can I go in on my own first guys" it wasn't even I question I wanted to go in on my own.
I made my way to his room my legs shaking with every step. A youngish nurse with long golden brown hair spoke to me "he can hear you, you know. Just because he can't reply doesn't mean you can't speak to him"
"I, I don't know what to say so him" I admitted.
"It doesn't have to be anything big, just try and make him see how much he means to you and who will be here when he wakes up. Something simple" she sweetly said.
I nodded waiting for her to leave room.
"Hey" I laughed pulling my chair closer. I lowered my voice talking into his ear "you aren't half scaring us peeta mellark this isn't funny anymore, we need you to wake up. I need you to wake up. You have so much here peeta. So many people. So many people love you. Everyone is so worried. Annie has told Luca you're in a deep sleep dreaming about good things. It will destroy him if you don't wake up. It will destroy me" I sniffled putting my head down while holding his hand.
A soft Knock at the door grabbed my attention. Johanna poked her head round "hey you okay?" She asked.
I nodded not wanting to cry again.
"Can I come in?"
I nodded yes.
"You can speak to him he's not listening to me" I joked. I don't know how I could joke in this situation. But if i didn't laugh id cry.
"If he didn't listen to you he won't listen to me that's for sure" she played along.
"Yeah well he's probably sick of me telling him what to do" I laughed.
"Yeah you are really bossy"
It went silent for a few seconds. Johanna broke the silence. "What should I say?"
"The nurse said whatever you want it doesn't have to mean anything"
"Okay ermmm" she thought for a second.
"You are a dick do you know that?" She stated.
I snorted thinking about how peeta would react.
"Scaring katniss like that, and now you decide to have a heart problem. I think I know the real reason of this heart problem. The stress of katniss. Well I'm telling you now you need to pull it together my friend" she told him as if he was actually listening.
Then she got serious. "I'm being serious peeta you need to get through this none of us will be able to go on if you die. We have lost too many people and you are a big part of our lives. Especially katniss. You can't leave now. Can I tell you a secret?" She leaned in closer to his ear. "you are having a baby. It's all you have ever wanted. So you can't leave now"
She leaned back away slumping back into her chair. "This is not fair"
I looked at her blankly. "Nothing is ever fair in our lives. Something always has to ruin it" I shrugged. "I'm used to losing people now anyway"
Johanna didn't bother replying or denying it because it was true. All of us had loses. All of us suffered the pain of being ripped away from someone we love.