Learning to live

Learning to live: family

Later that day all of our friends had found out about peeta and all of them had come to the hospital. All of them taking it in turns to go see him. I decided I needed a shower and some sleep and there had been no change in peeta's condition. Johanna drove me home and had a shower too she looked just as exhausted as me.
"Thanks jo" I smiled.
"What do you mean thanks?"
"What I just said?" I replied utterly confused with what she said.
"You don't need to thank me katniss we're all here for you like you would be for us" she shut off the engine and undid her seatbelt.
"I wish I didn't feel so numb" I admitted.
"I'm glad you do, at least you're not hurting"
"Oh believe me I am I just can't feel it" I snorted.
"Come on let's get you in the shower" she said.
I agreed and stepped out of her small car. I As I entered mine and peeta's house I felt an awful sickness. Everything felt so normal. Everything was left in the same way it was last night. A few bottle of beer lying around. Takeaway boxes which were ordered at around midnight. Signs of us all being happy.
I walked out of the living room thinking it could be like this again. It would be like this again. I trudged up the stairs feeling as weak as I did when I had no food in the seam. I decided to use the shower in my and peeta's room wanting to feel closer to him. Johanna had ran to her house for a shower and clean clothes so I had time to gather my thoughts. I dragged myself in the shower turning the heat up so my skin would turn pink. I played my tedious game but my mind was lost. I knew so many people had gave me kindness and I couldn't remember. Couldn't remember a thing. My mind flashed back to the time I killed coin. Being locked in a room for days. Preparing to die. Then Effie Came to speak I me with my prep team. Made me get in the shower. That's what this shower was like. Long and painful. I switched back to my game. I still couldn't remember a thing. Just that snow was still hurting me from the grave. He still remained in my life. "Evil" I slat thinking out loud. It felt good. Felt good to let it out. "Evil" I screamed louder. I stood there blankly for a minute the hot water still running off my body breathing in the steam. I took a deep great and shut the water off. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were all meant to be happy. Pollux had recently had his Avox surgery reversed and was learning to speak again. He could say simple words and we were all so happy. The look on Tammie's face made us all feel hopeful. Now everybody's smile had faded and turned into worry or hurt or anger. Mine was a mixture of all 3. I wrapped a soft newly bought towel around my body. Snow had begun to fall again so I decided to get a move on incase it became too heavy to drive in. I hurried to my closet grabbing a pair of black jeans and a long sleeved maroon polo neck too. I laughed to myself as I pulled it out thinking about how prepared i decided to be for the Christmas season. I stepped into my jeans having trouble pulling them up, once I had forced them on there was no way they would button. They fitted me perfectly fine a week or so. I forced them back off and looked at my body in the mirror. I had put on quite a few pounds my face was fuller, rather chubby if I was honest. My arms had also become fuller they looked rather swollen. I stared at my belly for a while. It had the tiniest bump. Which I was quite confused about because I could only be about 13 or 14 weeks considering your classed as pregnant from the first day of your last period. I didn't have time to think about that. I shoved some leggings on but they emphasised my stomach even more. At this point though I didn't really care. I threw my black fitted bubble coat on and headed over to johanna's. Remembering to grab my keys and phone on the way out. I almost didn't notice my mother shouting my name as I locked my front door.
She stood outside Annie's. Luca in her arms. She must have changed shifts with Effie.
"Katniss how are you?" She shouted from over the road.
"Kat Kat" Luca tried shouting as loud as he could.
I couldn't say how I really felt to my mother with Luca there.
"Oh I'm doing okay, hey little man" I shouted over putting on a brave face.
Then Johanna scared my popping her head out of my car. "Katniss"
"Jesus you scared me, what are you doing?" I confusingly asked.
"We have to use your car mine will slip all over the roads"
Which was probably true she has a small white sport type of car. Where as I had a black SUV. I climbed into the passenger seat where peeta had left one of his jumpers. I brought it up to my nose inhaling his smell. I nearly folded it up placing it in my lap. "He leaves everything a mess. He asked me if he could borrow my car because he was driving to district 11 to meet with some baker guy. You know what peeta is like with his cars always changing it. So he bought this Porsche a few months back. You remember when he first got it right?" I asked johanna.
"Oh god yes he didn't shut up about it, all the boys wanted to see it. They acted like it was a new baby or something" she laughed.
"Exactly so he said to me he didn't want to risk it getting scratched or anything so he wanted to use my car. Well he thought that meant he could use it all the time then didn't he. I've hardly seen that Porsche off our drive I have no clue why he bought it if all he was going to do was worry about it being ruined" I shook my head. "Then he leaves my car a mess"
Johanna smiled at me. "He's going to be fine" she reassured me.
I felt hopeful for once I felt like peeta could pull through this. He had the best doctors. The best everything. No way would I consider any alternative.
The snow had started coming thick and fast.
"We better get a move on if we want to make it before it goes dark again" Johanna put her foot down which scared me a little. I hated being in a car with Johanna at the best of times never mind in the snow plus the almost darkness.
Soon enough I made it in one piece to the hospital and the snow crunched beneath my feet.
As I made my way to the entrance so many reporters swarmed around me
"What's happening to peeta Katniss?"
"Is it serious?"
"Can you give us a statement please"
My head was spinning from the amount of voices that we're shouting to me. Lucky Johanna had come to my rescue telling them to "back off leave her alone she's the reason you're all here right now"
"Johanna can you give us a comment" one shouted.
"Go fuck your self" she spat throwing their camera out of her face and pulling me by the arm into the hospital.
She screamed at the security to get a handle on it and I shouldn't have to put up with reporters in my face when I'm in a fragile state. She was right it wasn't the best thing to have right now.
I placed my head down walking through the maze of the hospital.
When we neared peeta's ward it had all been closed off so no fans or crazy reporters could make their way through and try and get pictures. After the security guard realised who we was he let us through. All our friends sat against the wall of the long corridor.
"Hey Kat" Annie smiled she sat crossed legged on the floor a coffee in between them.
"Hey, who's in there?" I asked gesturing to peeta's room.
"Gale and haymitch" she replied.
I looked over to the room a glass window allowing me to see into peeta's room. Gale was sat back on visitors chair his feet pressed up on the edge of the bed. Peeta looked so peaceful lay asleep. His tubes had been reduced.
I turned back to Annie "where have the rest of his tubes gone?" I asked worried.
"Oh don't worry Katniss the Doctor said he can breathe on his own now but he's still In a induced coma until they slow down his heart rate"
"Oh i nodded" looking back into the window I could see haymitch and gale laughing trying to involve peeta in the conversation. I hoped peeta could hear what was happening. I looked towards all my friends. Daisy and Melissa had fallen asleep lay across the cold floor. Everybody else was just sat there. I placed myself in between Annie and delly. Delly threw her arm across my shoulder I leaned against it. Closing my eyes, wishing for peeta to just wake up so we could all be happy.