Future Ghosts • TWD

95. Tick-Tick-Click.

Rosie was still sitting there, across from Negan. She was pretty sure he asked another question, but she was too busy thinking to answer it. She was staring off into space, going over everything in her head. From the Saviors always asking her name, to her crying in the cell and letting Negan comfort her, and to now, and how she was talking to him. Guilt flooded up inside of her. If ghosts were real, then maybe Abraham, Glenn, Maggie, or Olivia were there, too, and they were so disappointed in her for sitting across from him and not doing anything to try and kill him.

What was wrong with her? What was wrong with her that made her this easy to trick? What was wrong with her that made her hug Negan in the cell? There was a tiny bug inside of her that made her this way. There had to be. Something had to be inside her that made her love Negan, even if she hated him. All because of what? All because he cared for her?

That's what made her fall for the Claimers' lies, and look where that got her. Joe sat her down at the table and gave her food along with promises that he and the other Claimers would protect her. And then he and the others used her how they pleased.

And Merle, too. He was nice for those few days back at the camp. She had trust in him, even if it wasn't much, it was some. And then she trusted him outside of that store, a little ways away from the prison, and he took her, and Maggie, and Glenn, and he hurt them, because she trusted him more than she should have. That was her fault.

Daddy, too. Rosie trusted him for years. For her whole life, she trusted him- at least, up until he was dead and gone. He looked out for her. He taught her to hunt, to defend herself, to mind. He taught her all that, and then when he hurt her, she thought nothing of it. Because he cared, right? He cared, so he was only hurting her to help her. That was wrong, and she knew it now. But she didn't before. It was stupid. It was stupid and she just kept falling for it.

The thing about Negan, though, was that he never hurt her. Physically, at least. It was confusing. He a person who did horrible things that made her heart break a thousand times over, but at the end of the day, he was also the person who would try to comfort her and make her feel better rather than being a person who hurt her for crying in the first place. She hated him, but she missed playing catch with him. She hated him, but she wanted to talk to him. She hated him, but she wanted to hug him.

Rosie decided that it was because she was weak. She could pretend to be tough and smart, but she fell for everyone's tricks all the time, because she was really just weak and stupid. Daryl wouldn't fall for this. They beat him and they fed him dog food, but he still wouldn't kneel. Rosie wasn't beaten and she ate good food, and she still found herself hugging Negan. Not even just kneeling down to him, but hugging him, back in the cell.

"Hey, Rose," Negan said, tapping the table to try and get Rosie's attention again. She was staring at the wall, a distant look in her eyes, until he called her Rose. Then her head snapped over to him, a new angry feeling erupting in side of her.

"Don't call me Rose," she said quickly. Rose is what Daryl called her. She'd noticed that he usually called her Ro, but when he was mad, he'd call her Rosie. But, usually, he'd only call her Rose when she was scared or sad and he was there to make her feel better. Rose meant safety. Rose meant love.

"You've got a lot of names you don't like to be called. Know that?" Negan said exhaustedly, rubbing his face for a moment. No, Rosie thought, I only got a lot a' names I don't want you to ruin for me. "It's your turn to ask something, kid."

"I wanna go back to the cell," Rosie told him, avoiding any and all eye contact. She had to stop talking to him. She had to stop listening to him. She had to stop being around him, so she'd stop falling for his bullshit. She was too gullible, and she hated it.