Future Ghosts • TWD

142. That Same Look in Your Eyes.

Things weren't getting any better for Rosie. In fact, things were only getting more and more complicated. Things in Alexandria had changed, and one of the biggest changes was that Negan was no longer kept in his cell. He was allowed to walk around and do work, as long he had a guard watching him. This only meant that Rosie had to see him more and more often, which was hard.

Rosie had opted out of the trip to Oceanside. It was a trip for training and she didn't have any interest. She had less and less interest in anything each day.

Plus, Rosie didn't want to leave Lydia on her own. People were assholes. They didn't care if Lydia joined them. They didn't care if Lydia was a good person. All they did was blame her for what Alpha did. But, from Rosie's perspective, it should have been her who was to blame. Lydia wasn't even there. But Rosie was. Rosie was there and she didn't do anything to stop it. She just let them die.

Rosita had a baby and named her Coco. It was nice having a baby around. Holding and playing with Coco made Rosie feel a bit better for just a little while. But it didn't ever last. It was always temporary. Rosie couldn't just steal a baby. That's not how it worked.

Anyway, for now, Rosie was sitting outside in the grass, watching Lydia practice with her stick, just like Henry used to do. Rosie had been sitting inside all day, doing nothing. But while Daryl was gone at Oceanside, Rosita had been tasked with making sure that Rosie actually got out of bed and left her room each day. So Rosie was told to go outside, and she didn't have it in her to argue.

Mainly, Rosie was just keeping Lydia company. Apparently, Alexandria received word that someone had found a walker mask at Oceanside, and now everyone was on edge- especially around Lydia. So Rosie thought it'd be best to keep her company and let her know that not everyone thought of her that way.

What was extremely distracting, though, was that Negan was gardening only a few feet away. Rosie tried not to pay him any mind, because every time she got caught speaking to him, she received a long, boring lecture that she had already been given a thousand times before. It was just really, really, really hard not to talk to him or pay any attention to him.

Every time Rosie saw Negan, there would be one part of her brain that reminded her of the night in the woods- the night when Abraham and Glenn were brutally beaten to death by Negan himself. But the other part of her brain couldn't help but think about baseball practice and team trips to the ice cream shop after a good game.

But no matter who was around or what Rosie was thinking about before, her mind always, always seemed to remind her of Alpha and that barn. She had been through so much and been fine, but for some reason, somehow, that night left a mark that Rosie couldn't get to go away. No one could get it to go away. Not Daryl, not Ian, not Lydia, not Judith- no one.

Being in the room with the Governor, the nights with the Claimers, the lineup, the days spent in that cell- all of those things, Rosie had somehow managed to block out. There were even bits and pieces that she couldn't remember for the life of her. It was like her brain had blocked them out. But not the barn. Not Alpha. Not the Whisperers. Maybe it was because she was older, or maybe because it was more recent. But it would not go away.

It was easy to tell when she was thinking about it, but she'd always lie, anyway. She didn't need people worrying about her. They had other, more important things to worry about. And it'd go away eventually. Rosie was sure of it.

"Hey, kid," Negan's voice startled both Rosie and Lydia out of their thoughts. They both looked over at him, but it seemed that he was only talking to Lydia. "Everything ok?" he asked.

"Fine. Exactly the same as it was 20 minutes ago," Lydia said, her tone harsh and annoyed. Rosie picked at the grass.

"What was the big meeting for?" Negan asked. This question seemed to be more directed at both of them, rather than just Lydia. But then, the next question was for Lydia once again. "And why are folks giving you the side eye?"