Hurt | Remus Lupin

~61~ Anger

I knew that Harry was struggling hard with Sirius' death, so I tried to write to him as often as I could. I even told Seamus to keep a slight eye on him. Throughout our letter exchanges, Harry confided to me things he told me to never tell Remus. 

He was having private lessons with Dumbledore, which Remus already knew about, but he was also convinced Draco Malfoy was a death eater. I thought that was absurd. I mean, Malfoy was only sixteen. He couldn't be a Death Eater. But then again, his father was, and I was sure his mother was too. I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I just told Harry to try and not think about it too much, and to tell Dumbledore about whatever suspicions he has, because I'm no help. 

What made my blood boil however, was when Tonks returned one day with news.

"Fucking Dung has been nicking Sirius' stuff!" Tonks said angrily.

I jumped up, knocking my tea over. "WHAT!"

Remus also jumped up and hurriedly placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't get all worked up now Sara." though he was red in the face in his anger.

"Harry saw him in Diagon Ally with Sirius stuff." Tonks said grimly. 

"I know where Dung is." I said, and with that, I ran out of teh house, ignoring Remus and TOnks' yells, and I Apparated outside of Grimmauld place. I stalked inside and sure enough, Mundungus was in the kitchen, rummaging. 

I pulled out my wand. "Stand still you fucking little shit."

Dung dropped the things he was holding and held up his hands. 

"Come here fucker." I snarled. 

But before I could even react, Dung muttered a spell at me and I was knocked back. 

"GET BACK HERE YOU BITCH!" I lunged and tackled him to the ground, but he elbowed my nose. I could taste the blood. Blind through my anger, he slipped out the door. 

Just a few minutes later, Remus and Tonks ran in. 

"You idiot!" Remus cried, looking at my bloodied face as I was crumpled on the floor. 

He wiped the blood off my face and with his wand, he mended my nose. 

Tonks stood by looking grim. I started crying. "He got away. That piece of shit got away." I cried. "He took Sirius stuff and I couldn't even stop him!"

"Sara, you were angry, okay. It's hard to think clearly when you're angry." Tonks said soothingly. 

"Tonks is right." Remus whispered in my ear. "Don't worry, we'll get him. We'll figure it out."

At my next training session, Mad-Eye stomped towards me and growled. "You couldn't even fight that little slimy git?"

"Are you kidding me Tonks?" I glared at her.

She smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I had to!"

"I'm sorry Mad-Eye, I just I got angry. I was blind with anger."

"You can't let your emotions get the best of you when you fight, Finnigan!" Mad-Eye snapped at me. 

I felt the rage bubbling up in my chest, but I didn't say anything. 

"What if that was a death Eater? What if that was you-know-who?" he asked.

"I know." I breathed heavily. 

"Can you never do anything right Finnigan? Have you learned nothing?"

I exploded. "I know that Mad-Eye! YOU DON'T THINK I ALREADY KNOW THAT? I fucked up okay? I fucked up and I know that. I fucking know that! I don't need you to shove down how much I suck every single day! I get so tired of hearing it because I'm trying! I'm trying so hard and....and.... NO ONE APPRICIATES THAT!" I breathed heavily. "You know what. I'm done."