Hurt | Remus Lupin

~62~ Full Moon

Full Moons are always rough for Remus. I always try to be there for him as much as I can. It's hard, because he distances himself from me. Today is the first full moon while I live with him, and for the past few days, he was distancing himself from me, even sleeping in the little shed in the backyard. It was magicked so that he couldn't get out, even in wolf form. 

I sat in the kitchen, my heart aching as I heard his howls coming from the shed. My hands twitched, as I fought the urge to go with him into that shed to help him. The howling went on throughout the entire night, and I stayed up, not getting a wink of sleep. Soon, the sun rose, and the howling stopped. I jumped up from my chair and ran out to the garden, just as Remus stumbled out of the shed. He was bloodied, with new cuts and gashes, and he could barely stand. 

"Remus!" I gasped.

"Last night." he gasped. "Worst. One. In a...while." 

I wrapped my arms around him. "Let's get you to bed love."

I helped him up to our room and laid him gently on the bed. I hurriedly took off his shirt and I grabbed my first aid kit and my wand. I kept whispering sweet nothingness into Remus ear as I cleaned off his wounds and then I started dabbing ointment that Pomfrey had given me. I dabbed it all over his new gashes, while stroking his hair. I tapped my wand and bandages wrapped around him. His eyes were fluttering and my heart ached. 

"Remus, don't fall asleep yet." I said softly. "Let me fix you up something quick to eat."

He shook his head. 

"Just toast." I insisted.

He didn't respond, so I ran downstairs and quickly smacked some jam on a piece of toast, and brought it upstairs. I fed it to him and then wiped his face. 

"Water. Drink some water." I said, holding a cup to his mouth. When he finished, I helped him lie back down and I pulled the blankets over him. I tucked him in and kissed him softly all over his face. "I love you Remus."

"I love you Sara." he rasped.

"Don't speak." I said softly. "Rest up." I stroked his hair while his eyes fluttered closed. His breathing evened out as he fell asleep, much quicker than I had ever seen him fall asleep.

I bit back a sob as I watched him sleep. I continued to stroke his hair with one hand as I put my other hand over my mouth, so quiet my crying. It hurt that Remus was hurting so much. I hated how he had to go through his every single month. I hated how I couldn't be there during his transformations. I hated how we had no wolfsbane because we couldn't afford all of the ingredients. I had offered to beg Snape for the ingredients, but Remus said he didn't want to show Snape that he needed him. I thought it was incredibly stupid. I kept stroking his hair, when a knock sounded throughout the house. Remus didn't move, so I kissed his forehead softly and ran downstairs. 

I was surprised to see Tonks, Ollie, Fleur, Bill, Fred, and George. Bill was holding a bag. 

"What are you all doing here." I asked.

"It was a full moon yesterday, wasn't it?" asked Bill.

"Oh, yes. It was." I sighed. "Remus is sleeping right now. Last night was a rough one. It was bad."

I stepped back to let them all in.

"So, you haven't had any transformations, have you?" asked Tonks with great interest.

"No. The only thing that's really happened is that I have much better hearing." I smiled slightly. "So be careful with what you whisper around me."

We all sat down in the kitchen, and Bill made tea for us all.