When people first see me, no one makes eye contact... guys or girls... young or old.
The first thing they look at... usually unable to stop staring at is my tits... which come from a long line of big tits (my mother, my grandmother, my great-grandmother all are skinny (I'm 126 pounds and 5'4") and huge breasted (I'm a 38DD))... part of my Latina heritage.
Now although I have a great body with a small waist and a tight ass (I run every morning, and I tan every chance I get), I have a tough time holding onto a man.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm an extreme introvert. When I mention this characteristic, very few people believe it about me, since I work as a bartender and can flirt like a minx. Yet that is a façade... a persona I create to get great tips to pay my way through college. Truth is, I hate fake conversation and I'd rather go home and read a good book than flirt with guys, get drunk or get hit on.
Maybe it's because I'm not your stereotypical Latina. Truth is, I am quite shy (I was the only Latina in my elementary and middle school and found it easier to fade into the background than to try and fit in with the whites), insecure (people fall for my body, not my mind or personality... thus although I know my body is amazing, I still have an inferiority complex about who I am)... I wish people... including myself... could see me as smart, witty, pretty, athletic, Latina and beautiful.
I hide these insecurities by flaunting my body and being pretty sexually wild. I've often had oral sex in public (in taxis, at the beach, in washrooms, sometimes I even get eaten out while working behind the bar). I encourage guys to come on my face and tits. I actively enjoy being coated in cum; one of my wildest unachieved fantasies is being the centerpiece of a bukkake. I take it in the ass (only done this a few times, but my inner submissiveness makes me willing to do the things the 'good girls' don't do). I often think I can find love through sex... but in the end sex is just that...sex. Of course once the sex is done I go into a period of self-loathing, which I try to break out of through more sex as I repeat the same cycle over and over again.
Anyway, this story is not about my race... or my big tits... or my inferiority complex... no, it's about how I tried to get revenge on my asshole of a boyfriend and ended up doing it in an epically perfect way... and discovered I didn't have to stay locked in as a submissive for guys... but I could play with girls in an egalitarian way and have lots of fun doing so. Oops, did I just give away the ending? Maybe so, but we're not there yet. I've got some hell to slog through first.
.....
I caught my boyfriend cheating on me at a party when I got off work early and went over there to surprise him. But no, it was me who got the surprise.
I couldn't find him anywhere, and he wasn't answering his cell, which wasn't anything new.
I was getting worried and annoyed, when I walked outside and saw him sitting on the ledge of a hot tub getting a blow job from some skinny white bitch with tiny tits.
Most Latinas would have walked over to the hot tub, yanked the white skank off their man's cock, bitch slapped her to kingdom come and then berated her man for the next 24 hours.
But that isn't me.
No, I stared for an eternity, paralyzed by the insecurity coursing through me.
It wasn't 'what a fucking asshole'... okay, yes, it was what a fucking asshole too, but my main thought was why wasn't I good enough for him?
