33 | A Little More Time

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Hes·i·tant/ˈhezəd(ə)nt/adjectivetentative, unsure, or slow in acting or speaking

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Hes·i·tant
/ˈhezəd(ə)nt/
adjective
tentative, unsure, or slow in acting or speaking.

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[ London, 2166 ]

SARA DELT A NEW HAND. I palmed the face-down cards and began organizing them as she grabbed a handful of pretzels.

"So," she spoke with her mouth full, "Have you spoken with Danny yet?"

   I frowned, thumbing my way through the cards, "Not yet."

"What's the holdup?"

   I took a little too long to respond. Sara signed, "Xo, you gotta talk to him eventually."

"I'm just a bit nervous."

"Why? It's your brother."

"I know. It's just— things are different now. We aren't kids anymore. We don't know each other. Hell, I'm still learning about myself. And like, what if this person I have become isn't what he expects? I know I love him and I know he loves me, but will he like me?"

   "Xo, you're his sister... you've spent so much time trying to get back to him. That's gotta be worth something."

"My past... everything I've done, how do I share that with him? Do I even share that with him?"

"That's up to you. Just be yourself, Xo. That would be enough."

"Ever since I got on the ship I've been trying to figure out who I am. I've been other people for so long I'm not even sure what I like. What if he's better off without me?"

   Sara set aside her cards and dusted the crumbs off her hands, "For as long as I've known 'ya, you've never let anything stop you... why let a bunch of "what ifs" drive the narrative now?"

"Because the risks don't just involve me. They involve Danny."

"Xo—"

"I know bird... I just need a little more time."

"Time is all we got here. Don't waste it."

Finding the hidden compartments all over the ship became a sort of game for me. I searched high and low, stumbling upon large storage units and small crawl spaces. My favorite by far was the small cubby space below the captain's parlor. It was pretty spacious for a storage compartment, I was able to stretch my legs and sit up comfortably. I even went as far as decorating it. A few pillows were at my back and a blanket rested over my legs. My own hideout, shrouded in shadows. It was quiet and gave me a place to be alone. On occasion, it was a good place to listen.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 16 ⏰

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