The Journal Of Truth

Jerks come in many different sizes

So today was the worst. Guess who is now single! When I walked into school my boyfriends friend shoved him over to me and forced him to talk to me. I turned around to say something to him and he was gone. Then that same friend came over to me and told me that my " boyfriend" just broke up with me. I said " Okay good." I didn't know what else to say.

Guys are jerks in my grade. The thought of him having a friend come over to me to tell me that he is breaking up with me makes me so mad. I wrecked everything for him. My crush now likes my best friend and they were flirting right in front of me!

She knows that I like him a lot. We even got into a argument about who he likes! It just makes me want to cry that he likes her. I can't even imagine them dating!!! The way that he looks at her now, is the same way that he used to look at me. I want to curl up into a ball and cry. I never have wanted to do that over a guy. Now I am being forced to tell my crush that I like him. I am scared that he will reject me over my best friend. But, what really do I have to loose? I need to do it a good time when he and I are alone. I just haven't figured out when.

I never thought I would cry over a guy. I guess that has changed. All I want to do is be around him and to have him flirt with me, and annoy me. I miss him being with me. Now he is doing that with my best friend. I seriously regret saying yes to my ex boyfriend. Very much.

Last time, a guy came in between us it was my old crush. I just have recently got over him and I am happy for that. Me and my best friend kept getting into fights. It turns out that my best friend thought he was the reason for all of our arguments. I disagreed and kept fighting.

I am so annoyed with everything. I don't know why I want my crush to be my boyfriend so badly. Last weekend I was running and lost it when I wanted to talk to him but, couldn't.

I can't talk to my friend E about it because she is done with my boy drama. I can't help it, because she is the one that I go to. I also have other friends, but it am just really close to her. This whole day has been the worst.

If my best friend and my crush date I will not forgive her. I will be so crushed and betrayed I won't know what to do with myself. I will just be so upset and broken.

Lets hope things will go well when I tell him how I feel about him.

~ Countrygirl1055 (M)