The Journal Of Truth

Things stirred up

So my current ex (y'all should know who I'm talking about) he's brother asked me some uncomfortable and strange questions and I told dev that I would talk to him about it in bio class... But he said no. He asked me if I could video chat him and at first I kept saying no. Because I knew exactly what would happen if I video chatted him.... All those feelings that buried would get stirred up again. And that's exactly what happened.

He wouldn't take no for a answer so I had to pretty much say yes. (This conversation was supposed to last only about 5 minutes). So we started talking about it, and then of course he switched the topic and brought up some deep stuff. So we continued talking and then he brought up our past relationship. So we talked about that. And then that's when everything got screwed up for me.

He talked about how he didn't mean to hurt me and how when we broke up it messed up our friendship. Then he asked me if I hated him and I said "no I just hated some stuff that you did." And then he brought up about how he likes this girl (who's a freshman) and how she doesn't like him back in that way. And then that's when he started messing with my feelings.

He brought up how we used to always talk on the phone all the time and even pulled a all nighter, and that he misses it. He mentioned the way that my voice slowly goes softer when I'm tired and it's cute. He also said that he still has feelings for me. He. Said. That. And ever since last night my head has been messed up.

I knew it would happen, but not like the way it did. He totally begged me to let him call me about his brother and then totally brought up different conversations. The conversation was only supposed to be 5 minutes and it turned out to be 3 hours. THREE HOURS! Near 12:30 dev started to fall asleep and then finally answered and said he was just thinking. Thinking. Probably about us and everything.
See why my head is messed up? If anything else happens I'll make another update. Hopefully bio class will be okay.

Xx ~ countygirl1055