The Journal Of Truth

Sucky Day

Today just isn't my day. I'm so frustrated with my boyfriend, my classes, and everyone just talking about how Cody got suspended.

I'm sick of it all. Today just keeps getting worse. In french class (a class that I'm failing) we had to present our projects to the class and of course I got stuck in a bad group. Josh and Frederick messed up the presentation. But I only had a day to prepare for it, while everyone else had 2 days. I ended up skipping that day because I was really sick and not feeling well. So the teacher put me in their group, and I was really counting on this grade to help boost up my overall grade... And the class rates us, and so does the teacher. Frederick totally got the class pissed so I know we failed it. And that upset me.

You guys know how I mentioned I have guy drama? Well I'm not kidding. Dev (a guy friend) was putting his arm around me and hugging me multiple times. He's been doing this a lot... Me being myself, didn't think anything of it. But I know that he likes me, and he knows that I'm dating someone... And I think he's ignoring the fact. He's kinda being flirty and everything all over again. (Yes I've had many problems with him before like this). Don't get me wrong, he's a great friend to me and everything but, sometimes I don't know what's going through his head. Or how he means things. What I sometimes do is act really friendly and I like to joke around a lot, which guys see as flirting. So a lot of the times I give them the wrong message and everything. And I don't know if that's why I'm doing to Dev again.

I think I told you guys about how my ex got into a fight with some guy and got suspended. But EVERYONE keeps on talking about it. And thinking that they should tell me more about it. I just want to forget about this all. Cody is suspended for 5 days and I just want to focus on my school work because this Friday is when the quarter ends. Do you know how awkward it is for me to hear about my ex? And know all the details about what happened?

Things with my current boyfriend are a little messed up. He's been so busy and distant and never wants to talk to me, he doesn't tell me about anything anymore... Never has the time to call and I'm getting fed up with it. It's been like this for more than 4 weeks. I've told him how I felt and he just says "sorry" and when I told him I loved him, he never even said it back.... So I don't know what's going on anymore. I might as well be single. But I can't just dump him because of this... I love him a lot. I hate how loyal of a girlfriend I am. I don't want things to be like how they were with my ex. I don't need another Cody. And the signs are all there... Just when everything went downhill for me and my ex when we were together. I don't want to go through all that again. I have to put myself first and not put up with any BS. He said he would call me today and I waited and waited.... Finally he called me TWO HOURS LATER! And then he wouldn't even talk because it was "messed up" and so I'm just fed up with it all. He doesn't care, if he does then I don't see it. He's messed this relationship up and he needs to start putting in effort otherwise he will loose me.

And Ellie was being a total bitch today at lunch. She was getting mad at me and Aud today. She had these little cards and I picked one up and she smacked my hand down on the table and told me that if I touched them again she would punch me in the face and she was flipping out at Aud for the same reason. But she does that with us all the time..... I'm sick of her being a bitch to me and Aud.

And in English class I got my phone taken away. Even though everyone else is on their phones! It's such bullshit! Why me out of everyone? And of course when I told this to Ellie she mocked me and said sarcastically "Wow poor you, your phone got taken away."
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What I'm trying to say is that I'm fed up with everything.... I'm also having problems with Lisa my dad's fiancé.... (not getting into that just yet)..... Anyways the few past weeks for me have been over the top hard and stressful and I'm just sick of it all. I want to get rid of all the bad things in my life... I don't want to get depressed again like I did last year.

~Countrygirl1055