Gold Dust Woman- Lip Gallagher

you are not frank gallagher's son

"How the actual fuck is Frank the father?" Diana said as I walked with her and Blake to the Gallaghers. 

"I don't know," I said, "I mean there was this rumor Lip told me about Frank's grandma having an affair with a black sax player. Didn't know it skipped generations."

 "Huh."

"Yea. The boys took DNA tests today too just to see if Frank is still their father or not," I said, "Would be pretty nice if he wasn't."

We ended up going next door to Fiona and Steve's because Lip was busy talking to Monica. Fiona, Steve, and the rest of the kids were there too. Fi and V went to go talk to a lawyer about adopting Liam and possibly the four others, but she'd have to prove Frank and Monica incompetent and have a steadier income. 

"So the lawyer said there was nothing you can do?" Steve said.

"If we sue, it could backfire. Make things worse," Fiona said. 

Lip came in and remarked on the smell of the place.

"What did Monica want?" 

"To come over for dinner. Some kind of a family meeting,"  Lip said.

"Family?" Fiona scoffed, "Fucking load of shit. You told her we know Liam's Frank's?"

"Yea."

"Does anyone have any pot?" Fiona said, "If I have to see Mom conscious, I might have to commit a felony."

"That's the first time in a long time I've heard you call her mom," Lip said. I was surprised they still called Frank dad too. 

"I did?" she said, "I don't know if I ever really felt like she was my mom."

Steve lit a joint and passed it around to me, Ian, Lip, and Fiona while smacking it away from Carl and Blake. 

"Ian and I got our DNA tests done."

"Why?"

"Got excited at the idea of not being Frank's," Lip said, "If none of us are his, you'd have an easier time at being our legal guardian."

"Lip's gonna pick up the results in an hour," Ian said.

"Well, here's to you not being Frank's," Fiona said.

___________________________________________________

When dinner was ready, we walked over and sat down. Monica made lasagna and salad, eager for everyone to try it.

"Monica's Liam's mother and I know you won't be happy, but-

"Jesus, Bob! Can we please just enjoy our dinner and then talk after?" Monica said.

"Talk about what?" Debbie said.

"Debbie, please. Where's Lip?"

"Had something to do," Ian said. 

"He'll be back soon enough," I said.

Then, as if on cue, Frank came trotting in and took a seat. 

"If you called us here to tell us that you're taking Liam and leaving again, we don't wanna hear it," Fiona said. 

"Fiona, you're upset. I get it. I was married to Frank for 18 years. It's like swallowing glass every day."

"Hey!" Frank said as he poured the Sprite. 

Lip came in and not without a snide remark from Bob.

"Your mother said 6:30. You lose your watch?"

"I don't have a watch, Bob," he said as Bob put Liam in his crib.