Gold Dust Woman- Lip Gallagher

carl thinks he's a cancer survivor

Carl had returned from camp, which turned out to be a cancer camp, and Frank lied to Carl saying he had it. Probably just another way to get money.

 We also found out Molly thought she was a girl who in reality was a boy. Her fucked up mother raised her as a girl because she hated men. That's so fucked up.  

Fiona called us downstairs around eight a.m., prompting the five of us to come into the kitchen. 

"Okay, listen up, Gallaghers," Fiona said before pausing, "And Antonellis and Milkoviches. They're digging the sewer main in a few days and shutting the water off, so we need to do laundry and dishes beforehand."

"What about toilets?" Jimmy said.

 "Pee and poop outside," I said, grabbing some eggs and toast for Lip. 

"Yeah, we could fill up buckets," Lip said.

"Gross," Debbie said, "So, they're digging up the lawn?" 

"Yeah."

"What about Aunt Ginger?"

Fiona hesitated before someone knocked on the door. I had almost forgotten that Frank buried his Aunt in the yard.

With that, daycare started. Diana and I had to do most of the work for the day because Debbie was going to be at the pool, practicing how long she could hold her breath. While  Lip brought Liam into the living room, Jimmy and Ian stared at each other awkwardly.

But back to the Aunt Ginger thing, I didn't know what was going to happen, but things weren't looking good. Let's say the city digs up the bones, then the police would show up. They'd figure out it's Aunt Ginger. The next step would be dating the bones, and then they'd find out she's been dead for fourteen years, however, her social security checks are being cashed every month. Frank would never get out of prison because not only had he buried a body, he stole from the federal government. And who's to say the rest of the family wouldn't go down with him?

___________________________________________________________________________

Diana and I tended to the children while Jimmy sat on the couch in shock. 

"Jimmy, if you're not gonna help us, can you leave?" Diana said, "Mayo has to go outside and set up the kiddie pool."

"You know what, Diana? You try having a dad who gives blow jobs to your girlfriend's teenage brother."

She scoffed, "I had a dad who cheated on my mom with her colleague and two college students. I think I understand what that's like. Now, will you please help us?!"

He sighed and gave in, which gave me the okay to go outside and set up the pool. While I played with the three-year-olds and engaged in a splashing war, Carl, Blake, and Little Hank dug up the yard in search of Aunt Ginger. If this whole ordeal wasn't bad enough, Frank forgot where he buried her. 

 "Swim diapers," Debbie said, handing them to me.

"Thank god," I said, "Already had to fish out two poops."

A few seconds later, a disgusting pungent odor hit my nose.

"What's that smell?!" I said, throwing my hand over my mouth. The boys hit the sewer line, and it sputtered everywhere. 

Slowly, I brought all the kids back inside while managing not to throw up.

_____________________________________________________________

Two hours later, after the pick-up finished, I had a headache and I felt like I was about to burst into tears. Taking care of screaming kids was so stressful, and I don't know how Debbie did it so often. 

Diana, Ian, and I got high while watching Family Guy after briefly explaining how gay sex works to Carl. Carl had overheard Jimmy talking about his dad and was infatuated with the subject. 

Lip, on the other hand, went to bed pretty early because he'd been in Indiana with Kev all day, so he was exhausted. 

The next afternoon, while I clocked out at the pharmacy, I got a call from Fiona. 

"Hey!"

"Hey," she said, "Look, Frank still hasn't found Aunt Ginger, so the whole family has to dig right now. Are you and Diana busy?"

"I'm not," I said, "But I'll text Diana and let her know."

_______________________________________________________

We were all digging up the yard, and it smelled fucking awful. I thought I was gonna puke, but it was either this or the whole family went to prison. 

"Where'd Carl and Blake go?" Fiona said.

"Huh?"

"NINJA!" 

The boys were on the steps holding one of the fireworks that Kev and Lip kept from Indiana.

"CARL! NO!"

"NO!"

The boys threw it into the yard, prompting an explosion. 

"That actually kind of worked," Lip said, "You get those from the firework stash?"

"Yeah."

"Bring some more."

There was a huge cloud of smoke in the yard, but we could make out a figure, which turned out to be Jimmy. 

"It reeks out here," Jimmy said, "Listen, all this stuff just with my dad-

"Oh my god," Fiona said, putting her hand over her face, "Why are we still talking about this? I mean, really? Christ!"

"OK, so whenever you need me, I'm like there for you. And then the one time I need you, you're like screw off?!"

Sorry, Jimmy. I'd say Fiona had a good reason to not want to talk about this right now. I mean, READ THE FUCKING ROOM!

"Carl thinks he's a cancer survivor."

I looked over at Carl, who had a white shirt on with I BEAT CANCER written on it in black marker.

"Molly thinks she's a girl with a penis," Fiona added, "Debbie's getting terrorized at the public pool. This yard smells like a sewer. I got three drunk assholes operating power tools behind me, and the bitches at work locked me in a bathroom today. OH! And we might all be on the verge of going to prison. So, you wanna talk? Grab a shovel! Talk your face off about how your dad gave a blow job to a teenager but dig while you do it."

"You know what?" Jimmy said, "I'm really tired of playing this my tragedy's bigger than your tragedy game. My entire world got rocked, and it's like not even on your radar. We're in a relationship! What's important to me should be important to you."

Lip and I exchanged looks before looking back at the arguing couple.

"Look at us," she said, "We are literally digging up a body. How do you even compare our situations?"

 Jimmy just walked away, prompting Fiona to yell at him, "Why don't you go cry to your gay dad about it?!"