Shiv Shakti - The Mountains Bound Us! (Haimavati)

Silent Conversations

From then, Parvati went to visit Shiva everyday. She would collect flowers and worship him, make garlands for him, give him fruits and water and when he would go into meditation, she would just silently sit there and stare at him. It gave her peace. This had become her daily routine. Nandi had become her constant companion. Whereas she would look after Shiva, Nandi would tend to her needs. She felt a strong connection with him. She was already a mother to him. But her only disappointment was that Shiva would not notice her. He would look at her when she would come and then close his eyes. He would rarely speak to her while she would be there and it hurt her.

But unbeknownst to her, it was Shiva too who was trying to control himself. Seeing his Shakti in front of him everyday and not being able to do anything was weighing on him. Every time he would see her, he wanted to hold her close, wanted to tell her how much he loved her and missed her but he couldn't. His past experience really haunted him. He was the God of the Gods but love was painful for him as well. And Parvati had not realised herself as Shakti yet so he wanted to wait. Sati was on the path of realization and she had achieved her goal but by then it was too late. He wanted Parvati to know herself on her own. This resulted in intense but silent yearning from both sides.

The Gods were waiting as well. Devraj was getting restless. He wanted to intervene but he was warned by Brahma so he controlled himself.

"These two are insufferable!" sighed Vishnu as he looked at the daily interactions of Shiva and Parvati. Lakshmi laughed.

"Mahadev is not like you, dear. He doesn't possess your energy. He is calm, collected and soft. And so is Parvati. Give them time. They are going in their own pace."

"That is the problem. The world doesn't have that much time. If nothing happens in a while, we will have to intervene" Vishnu now said seriously.

It was true. They were going in their own sweet pace. They would would seat in front of each other and often look at each other. It was mostly their eyes who had the silent conversations.

One day, as usual Parvati was sitting in front of him when Shiva finally decided to speak to her.

"Why do you come here everyday? You are a Princess. You don't need to do this."

Parvati smiled softly.

"It's not that I need to do this. I want to. Coming here. Looking after you. I like it. It gives me peace."

"But... I don't even talk to you. I don't even acknowledge you. Still then..." he said.

"It doesn't matter. It's the heart that matters. And my heart belongs here. I've always loved....."

Parvati stopped in her words. She looked at him and saw him looking back. For some reason, she didn't want to express her feelings. Not yet. Maybe she knew that Shiva was trikaldarshi. He knew everything. Maybe he knew her heart's desire too and still stayed away from her. She didn't want to say it.

"It's nothing. I've to leave now. Goodbye."

That was the last thing she said before she left. That was the last conversation they had for a long time.