Part thirty-five

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I hate it when I get like this, when I really want something but just can't deliver and I run into a room to hide instead, just wallowing in my own self pity. And then I begin to think shit of myself.


"Winnie! Please!" Louis says through the door, my body leaning against it as I can practically feel the vibrations from his knocks against my back. I'm trying to slow down my breathing, I'm trying to close my eyes and shift all the bad stuff and think good, but everything is just falling all over me and I don't know what to do. I can't even respond to him through the door. I can't speak what I want to speak, I can't even fucking text him since I left my phone on the other side. I'm obsolete.


Maybe, Kanwell was right. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for a relationship. Louis, deserves better. He deserves someone that's not me.


"Winnie, I fucked up! I know I did, please. Just forget what I said. It was- it was not appropriate." His voice is going softer and I feel my eyes close as I begin to sniffle.


My hands cover my face completely, my fingertips digging into the sides of my head and I sit myself down on the floor, my back dragging against the wood with the picture laying on the ground now.


To think, it was all going so well a few days ago. The day he came back, our first date...It was all going so well.


I remember how I stayed up until two in the morning, my eyes stinging at the sides as I stared at my phone, waiting for the text that would say, I'm here.


I couldn't see him immediately since it was so late and my parents would most likely have caught me and question my motives, so I sent him back a good before I glanced at the nice white dress hanging from its hanger on the knob of my closet door one last time and went to sleep.


The next morning was filled with a sort of amusement and had felt kind of ridiculous in an awesome way. Our date was set to start at around four, so right when I woke up, I immediately showered and started to blow dry my hair immediately, texts from, Izzy, Coop, and even, Louis blowing up my phone.


From: Coop the poop


You already getting ready??!!?



From: Coop the poop


Btw Danny wishes you good luck! Not that you need it ;D



From: Izabel Waters ;P


WINNIE OMFG 2DAY LIKE OMFG. YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK SO GREAT!


From: Izabel Water ;P


Btw Winn, mum wants to know whether she puts in bottles of water or Cokes?



From: Llama Tomlinson


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