Part twenty-one [Part 1]

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Author's Note:

This is the FIRST part of this double update weekend! HUZZAHHHH! Well enjoy and the second part is right after! WOOO!

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Some days I just stare out the window like one of those over dramatic actresses in a soap opera. Except to me it’s not dramatic. It’s more.

I become honest with myself for a while.

I look at the sky and think about whether or not it feels as alone as I am. I wonder if it ever feels small even though it’s so big. I count the amount of birds that are flying in the sky with their wings open and imagine how my life would have been if I was born as something else.

I then get nervous and begin remembering things I shouldn’t be remembering and I ask myself why it doesn’t like who they are.

Then there are days like today where I’m with Louis and he’s smiling bright and liking everything that I am and telling me about it and oh how little the distance the stars truly are from us. I can practically touch them when I see him looking at me and I don’t think I have ever been so blinded by a window.

Today is his second to last day here, having to use all of tomorrow to pack for his departure and even though we don’t have anything planned, we’re both stress free. I guess we’re just deluding ourselves as we avoid the elephant in the room and instead do things with one another that have more meaning to us then they do to the rest of the world.

Neither of us care though really.

He asked me what the plan was this morning and I just shrugged.

I told him how the plan was that there was no plan and he smiled back before shrugging in response.

My parents believe that I’m spending the whole today with Izzy and Coop, a sleepover following as well and even though it is one big lie, I don’t feel guilty.

Since Izzy’s mum is in America right now for a business meeting, she also won’t be aware of my big bluff so everything has been going smoothly.

I met Louis at his hotel room early in the morning, as soon as my parents left the house to depart to work, and we had a giant room service breakfast cuisine filled with eggs, muffins, bacon, and lots of napkins.

We spent the whole morning watching horribly critiqued movies as we ate, both of us knowing how difficult it will be in the future to do something as simple as this. Yet, none of us saying anything about it.

We were both eating on his couch, my head resting on his shoulder almost immediately when I had finished consuming my last bit of that delicious cooked blueberry batter. His arm surprisingly went around my shoulder, pulling me closer and I guess he noticed how I was a bit shocked since he whispered to me, his head turning to the side.

“Is this okay?” He asked, his expression soft.

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