Silent Laughter (Louis Tomlinson Fan-Fic) Book 3

Part forty-three

They had gotten to her on time. 

They found her unconscious, her lifeless seeming body laying on the floor with the empty pill bottle touching the very end of her fingertips. Her knuckles were swollen and bleeding and the paramedics had to pump her stomach. They succeeded.

My parents didn't take it well. I don't think a  person in their right mind could. Gene almost died, she almost left this earth forever and it was because she wanted to. The thought alone made me vomit a few times in the hospital bathroom, Izzy holding up my hair so it wouldn't stick to my face. I really wouldn't have cared if it did. 

Looking at Gene cracked me open. She was resting in the hospital bed with her eyes closed almost half the time. I think she didn't want to face the fact that she was still in reality, that everything that was happening still was. Like a sick joke she didn't want to know the pun to. I understood her in that aspect, even though it was an awful understanding, I still did. I remember when I was younger and would stare at a knife for hours wondering how it would feel if it was stabbed into my chest. I used to think that it would pull out my heart like a kabob, that it would just be there in the middle of the knife and I would be able to see it. That I would finally get proof whether it was still beating or not, whether I was truly alive or if this dead feeling was actually real.

I never actually had it in me to do it. But I guess Gene did and that's what's terrifying.

My dad and mum left work early that day, the day Gene created a hole in the earth. They both came in sprinting, my mum sobbing and my dad's eyes red and puffy, his teeth biting his bottom lip hard. He was trying to stay strong for everyone. What a tough responsibility that is to have.

Coop was with me in the waiting area, the doctors not allowing us in since they were doing examinations on her. He kept on stroking my arm with his thumb and I kept on staring at the ground, not even sure if I blinked or not. Her words were just in my mind, repeating and repeating and repeating. It felt as if I was in a hollow cave and Gene was just screaming but I couldn't actually see her. 

"What happened?!?" my mother asked immediately once she spotted us. 

She knew and my father knew but I guess they were in denial. I wanted to cover my ears so I wouldn't be able to hear Coop's response but I felt too exhausted to even do so.

"Um Gene tried swallowing a bottle of pills." He answered.

She didn't try. She did swallow a bottle of pills.

"Oh my god." 

My mother was hysterical and my dad kept on doing the arm stroking thing to her too. Why is arm stroking considered a form of comfort anyway? I rather just scream. I rather just scratch my insides out. That would be comforting.

Then she began to whisper, "My baby." under her breath repeatedly and Coop decided to hug me then.

I was shaking.

"She's okay, Winnie. She's alive. She's going to be okay." He muttered in my ear.

I knew he was lying. His voice was too soft and doubtful to be believable.

They allowed us in after a few hours, my parents still standing even though there were empty chairs right beside me. But I guess they can't pace while sitting down. My dad just kept on asking the nurse questions but she just kept on repeating that Gene was okay. I was getting so tired of that word. Okay. No one who tries to kill themselves are okay, whether they succeed or not.

Her eyes were bloodshot at the sides and her hands were wrapped as if she were a boxer, getting ready to fight something. Maybe we're all boxers, maybe we should all have our hands wrapped in that case then.