Charlie's POV
"Hey Charlie, where is her body lotion...her skin is a bit dry" Brax walked out with just a towel wrapped around his waist and a towelled Zoey held to his bare chest. Bringing myself back to reality I answered.
"Underneath the change table" I smiled as I watched him walk into the nursery.
"We're home...oh yum, pizza!" Ruby and Casey walked through the front door. Helping themselves to dinner and sitting at the table.
"You alright Charlie?" Casey asked as I stared into oblivion.
"Yeah I'm all good!" I shook my head back to my household and sat down at the table also. After Brax had bathed, changed and fed Zoey he sat down with us for a family dinner.
"So where you guys thinking of finding a place?" Brax asked the teenagers, with a mouthful.
"Well we've been looking at some places round North Epping and Ryde...close to the uni and not too far into the city" Casey replied.
"Well if you guys need any cash just let me know...Charlie and I both realise you are old enough to make your own choices and you guys need your space. Most 18 year olds don't have a crying baby waking them up in the middle of the night" Brax looked at me before taking my hand under the table.
"We love Zoey and we love living here, but it takes us almost an hour to get to Uni, so being a bit closer would be fantastic" Ruby smiled.
"Just as long as we get to see you most weekends and you call me every day!" I smiled at my daughter. She nodded before coming up and hugging me.
"I love you mum" She whispered in my ear.
"I love you too, sweetheart" I smiled back.
"Well we should be off Rubes...the concert starts in an hour" Casey stood up, clearing both his and Ruby's plate.
"You two have fun, stay out of trouble and text us later if you are going to be home" Brax waved them off. "So Ruby and Casey are out for the night, Zoey's in bed, so its just you and me baby" Brax placed his hands on my hips as I attempted to wash up.
"Uhuh...how about I finish this, we watch a movie then we can head to bed" I smiled at his seductively. He kissed at my neck before moaning.
"Sounds good...I'll go put on a movie" He winked, walking off. I finished washing up before joining him on the sofa and cuddling up to him.
"Its nice to have some us time" I mumbled, snuggling up closer.
"Yeah it is...I didn't think we'd get any of that once Zoey was born but I'm glad we can both make time" He placed a kiss on my forehead as we settled in for the night. Soon enough the movie was over and Brax and I were making out passionately on the couch. "You don't realise how much I've missed this" He mumbled, placing kisses all over me as he placed his hands under my shirt. I pushed his hands away before braking away from the kiss.
"Sorry...I'm still a bit self conscious about my stomach, since...well" I tried to explain.
"Charlie, I love you and you shouldn't have to feel self conscious in front of me at all!" he looked into my eyes seriously.
"I know...I'm sorry" I gave him a small smile before standing up, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom. We soon got back to work as he laid me back on the bed, dragging my gym tights down and ripping off his towel. I could see he was ready and he had been hanging out for this for a while. I just wanted to give him what he wanted but to be honest I really wasn't in the mood and I felt bad for doing that to him. His hands slowly slipped into my panties as he tried to work me up. I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy it but it just wasn't happening. There was only one thing to do...
"Oh yep...keep going Brax" I forced my groans out to make him feel good. He soon stopped and got really down into business. I couldn't help but just stop and stare into his eyes as he leant back groaning.
"Oh Charlie...yep, yep...Oh my...fuck! I'm gonna...I'm gonna...ah" He sighed in relief after a few minutes, before his eyes connected with mine. "I love you Charlie" He cupped my cheeks before kissing my lips and rolling off me.
"I love you too" I whispered back, leaning on my elbow and watching as he fell asleep. He looked so peaceful. I just wish I could fall asleep that quickly. Most nights since the birth I had tossed and turned and things had only gotten worse in the past few weeks. I just had so much on my mind and once it came to the silence of the night, my brain would just not turn off. I slowly got out of bed and headed into the shower, just standing under the water gave me time to think. I must have been in there for a good hour or so. I looked at my prune like hands before running them through my wet hair and wrapping a towel around my naked body. I tip toed into the bedroom, careful not to wake Brax before getting out a pair of cream silk pyjamas and slipping them on.
Placing my towel back in the bathroom and went to hop into bed before hearing a cry in the baby monitor.
"Your turn tonight" Brax mumbled, rolling over, still with his eyes closed. I took in a deep breath before walking slowly towards the nursery and opening the door to find Zoey crying her eyes out.
"Hey honey...you hungry?" I asked, picking her up. I quickly changed her nappy and sat in the rocking chair to let her suckle on my breast. She had never been too fond of the breast, or me feeding her at all to be honest. Its like she preferred everything Brax did, it was like he did everything better and I could just sit there and act like everything was alright. "Please take it" I whispered, trying not to cry. I was emotionally exhausted, I couldn't do this anymore, I couldn't keep acting like everything was alright when it wasn't. My daughter hated me and there was nothing I could do about it. She finally took it and suckled for a few minutes before I rocked her back to sleep and put her in the cot.
"Hey...is everything alright?" Brax walked in half asleep. "I heard you whispering over the monitor" He whispered, looking into the cot.
"Yeah, everything is fine...go back to bed" I smiled, deciding to stay in the nursery for a while to think and relax my mind. He smiled back before turning and heading back to bed. As soon as I knew he was in bed, I turned off the baby monitor and closed the door. Leaning against the door I couldn't help but burst into silent tears as I slipped down to the floor and just sat there crying in the dark. I hadn't had the chance to cry or let out any emotion since Zoey's birth and it had all built up until I just couldn't take it anymore.
