the moon and stars (legolas x oc)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"What do you want?" I say, hating the fact that my eyes and nose are red and my dress is muddy and torn while she stands in front of me, confident as always, her armour looking gorgeous, her long red hair flowing down her back like she just had it styled... UGH!! 

Every time I see Tauriel, I get reminded of how much I hate her. This time is no different - in fact, it's stronger. Just the sight of her gets my blood boiling. 

I have a sudden vision of jumping forward and beating her, which isn't a thought I can say I've had very often, but I embrace it like an old friend. 

I wish I had a smarter reply to give her than "What do you want?", but my brain is just so muddled. 

I wish, for once, I could say something that cuts her to her bones, that makes her rethink everything she's ever said, that makes her remember all her insecurities, just like she does to me. No, one step further - I want to see how it hurts her. I want to have PRESENCE. I want to take up SPACE - I want to be LOUD. I want to say something and have my words echo because of how loud I said them, instead of dissipating into silence without an ear to catch them and cradle them. 

I can't think clearly - my temples are throbbing. I feel full to burst with something heavy, like my veins themselves are being weighed down with my anguish. It only seems to build. 

"Where is Prince Legolas?" Tauriel says curtly, unaware of my inner turmoil. 

"How should I know?" I say brattily, turning away from her. 

"While I was guarding him during his early morning archery session, he suddenly decided to run off to find you before I could stop him. So - where is he?" 

"I don't know," I say testily. "To me, it looks like you're not doing your job properly if you have to rely on a lowly elf like me to find out what happened to your responsibility - which is, oh, excuse me - the gosh darn PRINCE!" 

Tauriel's eyes flashed with anger. I danced with joy on the inside, knowing I had hit a nerve. She was always so serious about her 'responsibilities as the captain of the guard'. That kernel of truth inside my words hit harder than anything else could have, and I loved it. 

"You know," Tauriel said in that oh-so-casual-and-calm voice that meant she was feeling anything BUT that, "let me get something straight." She put her hands on her hips. "I've always known you've had a problem with me. I put it down to teenage pettiness, but this is too much. This is disrespect towards not just a member of the royal guard, but the CAPTAIN of that guard." 

Oh, I knew what she was trying to do. And sure enough, she continued, 

"So I would advise you to know your place." 

She was trying to hit where she thought it hurt. I'm trying to pretend it doesn't, but it really does. It just makes me even more angry. The pressure is building up more and more - pressure in my head, in my lungs, like each breath is heavy - in my heart, as if it's weighed down with lead - in my blood - almost in my soul. 

"Are you really bringing up rank?!" I say hotly. "Is that really all you can use to defend yourself?" 

I laugh half derangedly. It's a relief to finally say it out in the open, that thing which all elves know but never talk about. "I know I'm below you already. That can't hurt me." 

The pressure is building to a breaking point. Something must break, something must give way, I know that. Tauriel's hand flies to the pommel of her sword, but then she takes in a hissing breath through her teeth.

"You know what Prince Legolas was saying? He was saying how he hadn't had a proper conversation with you for such a long time, since the dance, and how he really missed your company. I think he's soft on you and I can't for the life of me see how. What would an ugly, lowly ranked elf ever have to capture the likes of Prince Legolas? Before I knew you properly, I thought, my, this she-elf must have a stunning personality. But clearly, he knows a different Sapphire than the real Sapphire. I know the real Sapphire. And you're a mess. A stinking, petty, selfish, two-faced mess. And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's hypocrisy. As captain of the guard, it's my responsibiltiy to protect the Prince. I thought that would include monsters and the like. I didn't know one of those monsters would be YOU." 

Something IS breaking. It is either me or her. Or maybe it is both. 

She knows she's hit a nerve, and with the claws of high-society she-elves she is ripping me to SHREDS with it and enjoying every moment. 

"You just wait until I tell him everything," Tauriel smirks. She lifts her hand off her sword - her posture is now relaxed - she thinks she's eliminated me as a threat - no, she thinks I was never a threat at all. 

So much for being loud! So much for having a presence! I am nothing in her eyes!!! Well, I can't get any lower. 

"He already knows," I say, then without meaning to I start to laugh. "He already knows!!" 

It's almost an evil cackle - I sound mad, I know I sound mad, and I know it's unnerving Tauriel, who's stepping back, eyes widening. 

Little did I know - it wasn't the laugh that was scaring her, but what she later described to the authorities - the energy that was gathering around me, almost like inverted sunlight, blinding in its darkness. 

At this moment, I know nothing but pressure - pressure - pressure - it grips me in its claws. I need to RELEASE. God, I hate her so much! I feel no regret when I admit it - yes - it is true - I want nothing more, in this moment, than for her to drop dead this VERY instance!!!!! 

Afterwards, I could never remember what really happened. But the pressure was too much. I knew I had to let it go. There were only two ways - outwards, or inwards. I sent it outwards. And everything around me, with a force that sent shockwaves through the earth and kept my ears ringing for minutes afterwards, burst into flames.