Lose You To Love Me (Mafia Romance)

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20 - FOR MY SAFETY AND PROTECTION

"You're finally awake."

And with just that voice, my concerns were finally answered. I opened my eyes and realized that I was still in a hospital bed, and my pregnancy was just a figment of my imagination.

Standing at the foot of my bed, the Don looked at me with a warm smile on his face.

He is alive.

And his presence was the definite sign it was all just a dream.

"Hello, grandfather." I greeted him with a smile.

I scanned the surroundings. I was still in the hospital. My room was like the one the Don had when he was hospitalized--a private suite. There was a ceiling-to-floor window overlooking the city that cast a gentle, golden light across the room, I could see the entire skyline from my bed. The view was breathtaking, making it easy to forget I was in the hospital.

I discreetly glance around the room, hoping to see a certain man. The Don might have noticed it and said, "He won't be here tonight."

I nodded and tried to hide my disappointment, but I couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over me.

Waking up to that kind of dream, that felt like a nightmare, and seeing Theo next to me would have given me assurance that everything was going to be alright. That he somehow cares for me. That I wouldn't have to worry about my future. But instead, I was left with nothing but worry again.

Like that dream was a possibility.

Theo.

The last time I saw him was in the ER. It was moving to see how caring and concerned he was, looking after my well-being and wellness despite what had been happening to us lately. I was even touched when he remembered the blueberries, and how attentive he was to me. I didn't know he had this side of him for me.

But, whenever I think that the possibility of us finally arising, whenever I feel there's hope for our marriage, there is always something--room for doubt. Like it was really too good to be true.

Theo and Penelope.

What they had was something special. Maybe it was a deep connection and understanding of one another. Like whatever happens, their relationship won't change. Even though I pour out all of my feelings for him, it won't change.

Even if I get pregnant, it won't be enough to make him stay.

Funny how Theo can't even reciprocate my feelings in my own dreams. Even in that dream, I was still miserable. I guess that's a sign that I should stop this.

Right?

Because I think, when an opportunity opens, Theo would just leave me behind without a second thought. Why was I being so negative and pessimistic?

I guess because, in a way, that dream woke up something inside me?

Could it be that it was just merely a reflection of my insecurities? But what if these were coming from my subconscious mind, and the dream was telling me what I already knew deep down?

The facts that I was afraid to admit, to acknowledge.

That this marriage with Theo would fall apart in just a matter of time.

But there's always a but.

Why do I feel that Theo is genuinely protective and concerned about me, and cares a lot about me, too? Was I just being delusional? Was this because I was desperate for us to work?