Lose You To Love Me (Mafia Romance)

CHAPTER 43

CHAPTER 43 - THE PROMISES HE MADE

"Why are you still awake?"

His voice made my heart race, but not in the usual excitement way. This time, it was more of nervousness and frustration. I had been haunted by hundreds of thoughts racing through my mind since my conversation with Selena about Theo and Penelope.

I had to know why.

I had to know. For my sanity's sake.

"Did you receive my message?" He asked. I heard him close the door. I was sitting on the bed, staring out the window, not even sparing him a glance. "I told you not to wait for me. There was a delay at the airport and we were stuck for hours. I'm sorry if I made you worry."

I knew I had to start saying something, anything, but I wasn't sure where to begin. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and taste the anxiety in my mouth. I was too overwhelmed to look at him, scared that I might forget my words again when I stare into his emerald eyes.

I might get lost again. Manipulated. Lied to.

No. This needs to be done.

Now.

"My grandfather told me I was destined to become a famous singer and pianist. He even believed that I could do what no one had ever done before and create the most beautiful music the world has ever heard. He was so sure of it, so proud of his granddaughter. I believed him, too. But instead, I chose a different path. I left everything and agreed to marry you."

I stood up and walked closer to the window. I could see Theo from the window reflection and I couldn't help but notice confusion written all over his face. I took a deep breath and continued.

"After today's event, I wondered about the what ifs. What if I didn't agree to this marriage? What if I just continued my career? Would I become what my grandfather believed I could be? Would I succeed? Would I have more freedom? Happiness?"

"Lia, what--"

"I was great out there, and not just today. But even during my recital, I had many companies wanting to sign me. But I turned them all down. For what? For this? I realized that I had sacrificed a lot for this marriage. My freedom, my happiness, and my dreams." I turned around--finally found the courage to face him. Even though I was close to breaking point, I held my head high and looked him in the eye. "How about you, Theo? What did you sacrifice for this marriage?"

Theo's face was unreadable as he stared at me, his brows furrowed. I could see the conflict in his eyes as he tried to find words to say. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. It seemed like he was trying to gain some clarity on the situation.

I wouldn't blame him. Just hours ago, we were ready to embark on our new life together, but now it looked like that was all going to change.

Silence filled the room and only the sound of the ticking clock on the wall and my own beating heart could be heard. I turned my head in the direction of the clock and stared at it. It's almost 3 AM.

I knew this wasn't the right time to talk. Important things shouldn't be discussed late at night, when everyone is tired and exhausted--and I'm so freakin tired and exhausted already. Honestly, this should be better discussed in the morning, when we are both fresh and alert. But I just couldn't wait. I was too anxious and the thought of waiting until morning was unbearable.

"Lia, are you trying to tell me you regret everything from the start to today? That you would prefer if none of this had ever happened?" Theo's voice was broken and fragile, and I could feel his uncertainty. I watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched, his muscles tight and strained. He was obviously struggling to maintain his composure, and I could see the raw emotion in his eyes.