Short chapter
*not edited*
3rd Person POV.
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Dear ma,
I'm no longer coping your loss, but instead coping with the memories you left me with.
I remember truly not were I would be in life without you. I was so lost, depressed, sad, and suicidal. But now as I sit here today and write this letter the question I have I'm my mind is:
'Why?'
Why wasn't I enough for you? Why did you manipulate me? Why did you abuse me?
What did ever do to deserve the way you've treated me?
I've always thought how you treated me was out of love but I think that illusion started to fade the first time you put in the hospital.
I remember it clear as day. I came home from school exited to how you my principles list certificate. Hoping I would hear the words 'I love you' on a good occasion.
But instead I got beat.
Why?
You beat me and you left me on the ground in a pool of blood till the next morning.
Why?
When you recognize I couldn't move you repeatedly kicked me yelling for me to get up.
Why?
It's a question that I'll ask for the rest of my life if I'm being honest here. If you truly didn't want me why would you keep me? There were so many different options, so many different paths you could've walked. But you choose the one with abuse, manipulation, and lies.
I always wondered why Antonio was never sad about your death and it makes me sick to think about he possibly went through what you put me through.
But ma, after everything you me through, I love you.
I hope you heal and become a better person in the after life, but I pray and hope you never have the chance to become a mother again.
You never loved me and I see that now. All I ever hoped was to see you again for one last time. Honestly now I hope that day never comes, but if it does, I'll still give you one big hug, and thank you for teaching me what isn't love.
I'm writing this letter to let you know I won't be coming back to visit you. I'm writing this letter to let you know my children-I hope to have in the future, will never know of you. I'm writing this letter because I'm letting go of your hold on me.
Sincerely, your youngest child
Antwone
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Placing the letter in the hole, Antwone covered it back with dirt, placing the flowers on top.
He stared at grave, he had nothing to say. He was going to go back home, and start fresh again.
He couldn't help the tears that ran down his face, knowing this would be the last time he ever visited her.
Touching the grave one last time.
"I forgive you ma."
Antwone stood up and he walked away.
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