𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 | 𝐂.𝐉𝐇 𝐱 𝐊.𝐘𝐒 ✓

⦃18⦄

Yeosang nervously fiddled with his fingers as he sat on the bench. 

He was nervous, little to say. He patiently waited for Jongho to come and meet him in their usual secret spot : a hill with a bench that looked to the river and a cherry blossom tree.

Yeosang loved this place. It was their little secret and no one has ever found out about this place, but ever since Jongho said how they should break up, Yeosang hasn't been to this place. 

There were too many good memories, and he just couldn't keep it all inside. He missed Jongho so much, and he just felt so lost. 

Jongho said how they should meet and talk things out, and no matter how much Yeosang wanted to say no, he just couldn't. He had to see Jongho for at least one last time. 

Yeosang just lost him, and he just didn't know how to cope with it. Jongho was his best friend, a lover, and someone who he admires and cherishes. 

Jongho slowly sat down next to him a few minutes later, and Yeosang just kept looking to the river in front as he tried keeping his emotions inside. He was just so upset. 

They kept quiet and just stared at the river, both of them not knowing what to say because there was just so much emotions and feelings inside. 

Yeosang gulped when he felt his eyes hurting and tears starting to fill his eyes. No, he shouldn't cry. 

Jongho sighed. "Yeosang.."

Yeosang kept quiet, looking down to his lap again before Jongho suddenly took his hand. He intertwined their fingers together, and Yeosang felt so relieved, but also heartbroken because he is losing Jongho. 

He is losing Jongho, and Yeosang can't do anything about it. 

"Please don't cry. You know how much I hate seeing you cry." Jongho said. 

Yeosang sniffled, not being able to keep in his tears. It was too much and too suddenly. 

He stayed silent, not being able to utter a word because what is there even to say? Jongho made it clear about what he wanted. 

"Yeosang, please. Let me explain it baby." Jongho said as he rubbed his hand. 

Yeosang sniffled again, letting tears roll down his cheeks and just staying silent. He couldn't say anything. He was too weak.

He sighed. "My mom and dad found out about us. You know how much they are against same sex relationships, and I just don't have a choice, and I have to leave you-"

"Jongho, you said that already. And what do you expect me to say?" Yeosang cut him off, voice cracking in the middle of the sentence.

 Jongho just stared at him as Yeosang broke down in front of him, not knowing what to say and just feeling his own heart breaking at the sight. He hated this.

"I don't expect you to say anything, but I just want you to understand that this is not my decision. It hurts me so much and I just have to-"

Yeosang shook his head. "Jongho.."

Jongho stopped talking, just staring at Yeosang with those heartbroken gaze. It just hurts so much. He hated his parents for this. 

"Do you really not have a choice? Can't you explain it to them about us?" Yeosang asked. 

Jongho just wished it was that easy. His parents were like rocks, too traditional and just not giving him a choice about his own life. 

"My love, you know I can't do that. They expect me to give them a heir, a child who will take over the business when I pass away, and when I'm with you, I can't give them a grandchild." 

Something inside Yeosang snapped. So this was what it was about. A grandchild and a family business. 

He broke down, crying even harder and feeling his throat hurting and eyes burning because of the tears. It was too much to take, and he just couldn't believe it. Of course they want a grandchild. 

"Baby, you know that I love you, right? I love you the most in this world, but I'm so sorry Yeosang. I- I can't be with you anymore." Jongho felt tears filling his eyes. 

Yeosang was just heartbroken and just awful. He sobbed and cried hard, not being able to calm down and just not believing that. Not once he would think he would be wishing he wasn't a man. 

"Jongho.." Yeosang mumbled as he cried. 

Jongho's heart was breaking, and he just couldn't believe that he had to leave him.

"Yeosang, never forget that I love you. But I feel that you deserve to know this too.." Jongho trailed off as he cried. 

Yeosang really didn't want to know. He is just so stressed and sad now, and he immediately shook his head in response. He couldn't hear it. 

"No, I don't want to know-"

"Yeosang, I'm getting an arranged marriage." Jongho cut him off. 

Yeosang just couldn't believe it. He was so heartbroken and just so upset now. Why was he going through all of this? Why him? 

He shook his head, feeling himself shake and just not believing what he just heard. He dreamed about having his future with Jongho, but now this? No.

Yeosang didn't have anyone except for Wooyoung, and he just couldn't believe the fact he was going through all of this. 

He shook his head. "No- No, it's..It's too much for me, Jongho." 

Jongho hated this, and he hated himself for not being able to keep Yeosang safe and instead just say no to his parents even if it takes to go no contact with them. 

"Yeosang, baby please." Jongho begged. 

Yeosang shook his head, taking his bag and getting up. Jongho got up a second after in alarm, finally letting go of his hand.  

"Jongho, please don't make this even harder for me than it already is. You have no idea how much you're hurting me, but no matter what, I wish you all well." Yeosang mumbled. 

Jongho almost yelled there and then, trying to think of a way to keep Yeosang to him but not knowing what to say. His parents would do anything just to give him back if he runs away. 

"Yeosang, please.."

He shook his head. "Jongho, just..just let me go. We know that we can't keep doing this."

And Jongho knew that. He knew that he couldn't keep Yeosang to him anymore, and he had to let him go. It's for the best. 

Jongho suddenly pulled him close by his arm, wrapping his hands around his waist and immediately pressing a kiss onto his forehead as he held Yeosang close. 

"I promise I'll get back for you, my love. I promise you." Jongho mumbled. 

Yeosang sobbed even harder in his arms, hugging Jongho tightly back. He didn't want to lose him. 

But it's all done. There is no going back now.