HAPPINESS - tobi brown

chapter 1

possible triggers

taytum

i sit on the park bench 10minutes away from my house. i needed a break. when i was young my mother died during childbirth therefore my father had it tough. throughout my childhood years my father never acted like a father. he blamed me. he should be there for my lowest but in reality he was putting me down.

sometimes i ever wonder if it's my fault, but of course it's not, i can't help the inevitable, i'm not gonna sit and cry about it. but sometimes it gets hard, my father mentally and physically abuses me, saying repeatedly that its my fault.

its getting worse as its the time of year when her death is coming closer. my birthday. 2nd of december. it's hard not having a parental figure to look up to for support but you get used to it.

when its my birthday, my mothers death, for my present i get birthday beatings. one for every year i'm alive. he says he would rather me die to have her here with him today. her name was rose. therefore my favourite flower is roses.

the beatings started when i was around 7. he made sure at that age the beatings weren't noticeable to any teachers. as i grew up they gradually got worse making me have to hide it underneath makeup. it's hard, but it's something i'm used to.

it's about 7pm in the evening, mid november which means i am wrapped up all warm. i get cold very easily. the park is quiet despite a few boys playing football from afar. they are quite big, maybe they could be around my age.

i don't pay much attention as i just zone out and think of what to say to dad when i get home. i just ran out before he could hit me. might result in a punishment later but i'm hoping he gets drunk enough to fall asleep.

i am in my thoughts when something hits me full pelt across the face, making me grab my right cheek.
"oh my god i am so sorry." a blonde haired man comes up. he's not too bad looking if i do say so myself. i laugh it off pulling my hand away from my face. "it's okay, no harm done."

i walk around the back of the bench and grab the football handing it to him. he looks at me guilty. "are you okay, it was a good wack."

"i'm okay, trust me." i've had worse. by now the whole group have came over. there's seven of them. holy shit i better not get gang banged. feeling intimidated i take a step back.

a dark skinned boy with a hat on and hood over his head notices that i feel uncomfortable and introduces himself. "my names tobi." he smiles reassuringly telling me they aren't gonna cause any chaos.

i smile back. "i'm taytum, some people call me tay." hes kinda attractive. the rest of the boys introduce themselves. harry, the boy that kicked the ball, josh, ethan, jj, simon, vik and then ofcourse tobi.

"well taytum since harry here hit you with the football, it's only fair to ask you if you wanted to join in." simon, i think says. i nod. "okay sure." i love football and i'm not too bad at it.

during the football match we try and get to know eachother as much as possible. the boys tell me that they have a youtube channel called sidemen with nearly 20mil subs which i am shocked at. i congratulate them on their success. that's really crazy.

after an hour of just messing around, i decide to tell the boys i have to go. before i leave tobi runs up to me.

"hey taytum, i was wondering if i could have your number, i enjoyed playing and so did the boys, i can pass it on if you'd like." i smile taking the phone out of his hand. "yeah sure, i had fun." i hand his phone back over then leave saying a quick goodbye to the boys.