The Losing One || Sirius Black

18. The Introductions

Sirius Black

Saturday, 18th December 1971.

Hogwarts

What will it be like? Will he be punished? Will Walburga yell at him or throw spells his way? Will Regulus be mad at him for not sending the letters? Sirius didn't even want to think about what Orion will do so he diverted his train of thought back to Regulus.

Yeah, he knew that the little boy wouldn't get the letters, but maybe he should have still tried? Maybe Reg was disappointed in his lack of trying? Truth be told, Sirius Black felt awful. He was dreading coming back home and not only because of his parents.

He felt like he had failed Regulus. Here he was having the time of his life while Merlin knows what was happening to his little brother. Sirius felt guilty... selfish... like a disappointment. Basically, he felt like everything his nightmares called him.

The fear of Regulus confirming that, was the reason he was currently tucked in between pillows while the others were packing. Back at the house, he had only one pillow which wasn't even puffy, so being able to enjoy this coziness at Hogwarts was something Sirius cherished.

He didn't know how to explain it, but somehow all the pillows made him not feel alone. At the 12th Grimmauld Place there was just emptiness every time he went to bed, causing Sirius to be lonely and cold. But here, at Hogwarts, his bed was filled with puffiness making it warn and full. It was like he somehow felt safer which was insane because the pillows couldn't protect him, but that was just how he felt, safe.

The sound of Peter throwing books into his trunk made Sirius' mind go back to packing. What should he even pack? After he was sorted, all his uniforms got red accents on them. Maybe Walburga would interpret him bringing them back home as a slap to the face.

Books were the safe option, right? Every first year has the same books. When it comes to clothes, he'll just pack everything beside the uniforms. Black trousers and T-shirts, shoes, white shirts...

"Sirius?"

His construction of the careful plan of action was rudely interrupted by James Potter. Sirius lifted his head just enough to be able to look at the boy who was currently folding clothes, "Yeah?"

James pushed his glasses back up the nose and turned to look at him, "Maybe you should start packing?". With hands on his hips and a quirked eyebrow he nodded at Sirius' empty trunk.

And there it was, the reason of his demise. He didn't want to move but he would be an idiot to think that James would leave him alone. Sighing dramatically, Sirius rolled out of the bed with the duvet around his shoulders like some type of cloak.

Carelessly, he started gathering books and clothes, throwing them into the trunk without any order. He didn't even bother to fold the mentioned clothes. His gaze stopped on the specific object inside one drawer of his bedside table. Looking carefully at it, Sirius decided to pack it just in case.

Loud bangs caused the attention of the other two Marauders to snap to Sirius' side of the room, but he ignored them. In approximately five minutes, everything was done and he was safely back in between pillows, back to the thoughts about Regulus and his parents.

Sirius could feel the concerned looks from the other boys still on him, but could not get himself to care. There was already too much on his mind and all he wanted to do was to just sleep in peace for a little while longer.

* * *

Sunday, 19th December 1971.

Hogwarts