The Losing One || Sirius Black

30. Realizations

Sirius Black

Monday, 29th May 1972.

Hogwarts

It was safe to say that Sirius didn't sleep that night. After he finished reading the last sentence about identifying werewolves, he just stared blankly at the book.

His brain couldn't comprehend the information he had just discovered. Werewolves are dangerous, they shouldn't even be at Hogwarts, right? Do the professors know? Dumbledore must know? As well as Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall?

Sirius stayed like that, shocked and lost in thoughts until there was a distant meowing which made him change his thinking location. He retreated inside the passageway and sat back down on the dusty stone floor.

There was just no way that kind, thoughtful and brilliant Remus Lupin could be a werewolf. Could be a dangerous, Dark Creature. It didn't make any sense, Sirius just couldn't put those two things together.

He didn't know how much time had passed since he had left the dorm so he casted the tempus charm.

05:14am

Remus must have returned from wherever he went to spend the full moon. It was a bad idea, Sirius knew that, but he needed some solid proof about the boy's condition and the only way to get it was to sneak into the Hospital Wing underneath the invisibility cloak and check for himself.

He got up from the dusty floor, threw the cloak on and hurried towards his next destination. The Hogwarts corridors never seemed emptier or colder to him. It was like all warmness from the start of summer just couldn't quite reach his body, but Sirius barely noticed. His mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. The truth.

Like every other time he went to see Remus, big wooden door of the Hospital Wing stood there, now more intimidating than ever. Sirius didn't even have to check to know that it was locked, so as quietly as possible, he withdrew his wand, "Alohomora"

He slipped inside, but as soon as his eyes locked with the only occupied bed, Sirius froze. Did he even want to know? He liked Remus very much, maybe it was for the best to just forget everything and go back to the dorm like nothing happened. What will he even do if it was true? Should he end his friendship? But he knew that there was no going back from this discovery.

His whole life Sirius was taught to stay as far away as possible from any dangerous, Dark Creatures. Orion and Walburga talked about werewolves like they were just another inconvenience that happened to the Wizarding world. Like they were some dirt at the bottom of their shoes that needed to be dealt with.

Or, in other words, they seemed to look at them with the same hatred as muggleborns which meant there was a want for extinction. But they were wrong about muggleborns, Sirius thought miserably, trying to find any reason why he shouldn't just turn around and walk away, leaving everything he ever knew about Remus behind, including their friendship.

Even on family gatherings he heard stories about bloodthirsty creatures that roamed the night while the full moon shone. Stories about death machines that just craved destruction. Evil creatures who wanted nothing more than to afflict pain to anyone in their vicinity. But Remus isn't evil. Remus doesn't even whish pain on bugs.

Those last thoughts were the only reason why he took a step forward. Then another one, and another one, until he was just outside the white curtains.

Sirius swallowed a big gulp and tried to calm his breathing. Curly hair was stuck to his sweaty forehead while his hearth felt like it will jump out of his chest any second. He could feel it pounding with every inch of his body. It's only a curtain Sirius, just pull it open.