Reputations Matter Most | Fedex Fanfiction

Chapter 10

Fitz took a look around the field as he walked through the empty space.
He decided if he walked for a few minutes before having to think about his emotions, it'd keep him calm.

Once Fitz had a quick walk around, he made his way towards the tree he and Keefe would always just sit at.
Fitz gently rested his hand on the trunk of the tree and sighed.
This was stupid, but Keefe was an Empath and he would know if Fitz lied about going, and... Keefe would definitely cut off his pinky if he broke the pinky promise. Okay, maybe he wouldn't do something that intense but...well Fitz didn't want to find out what Keefe was going to do if he broke the pinky promise.

Fitz sighed as he lowered himself onto the grass and he leaned against the tree. He rested his hands in his lap as he took a few deep breaths while he shut his eyes.
He didn't know where to start.
How do you just... think about your emotions? How would he clear himself of all his senses and just feel?

Fitz shuffled in his position and took a few more deep breaths as he attempted to clear his mind of his thoughts.
He relaxed as he felt the slight breeze fly past his face. He felt his cape slightly move due to the breeze. Fitz tried ignoring those emotions and feelings as he let his thoughts of Dex and memories of Dex from recent times just appear in his mind.

Fitz already didn't like how his heart and stomach churned when he thought about Dex's smile, his laugh, his cute dimples. His feelings began to get all confusing again as he thought of Dex. I mean, when he recalled the way Dex scolded him? God, his face turned red, he could feel his cheeks warming.

Fitz tried to focus on his feelings as he thought of Dex at the same time.
Keefe mentioned it was love but Fitz refused for it to be that emotion.
But as Fitz thought of his feelings, he tried to recall when he last felt this way towards a person.
These emotions towards Dex, they felt familiar but so much more different than what's he's ever felt before at the same time. Fitz tried recalling when he last felt these sort of familiar emotions. The first thing that popped to his mind was Sophie. And that caused Fitz to just snap out of his thoughts and open his eyes. His heart was racing.

Fitz sat, staring down at the grass in front of him as he felt anxiety now overcome all those emotions he was feeling just a few moments before.
Why did Sophie pop up into his mind? Yeah, he used to like her and dated her but... no, those feelings were not the same emotions he was feeling towards Dex.
They just couldn't.

But why were these emotions much stronger? Why did they feel more...real?
It couldn't mean that he was in love with Dex. It couldn't.
This couldn't be happening.
This wasn't happening.

Fitz wasn't falling for a guy, he wasn't falling for Dex Dizznee. He did not have those feelings for Dex! He did not like guys and if he did, it'd ruin his entire reputation!

What would his father think? The image of someone from the family liking the same gender? No, the image of someone from the family liking someone who wasn't as noble or as prestigious as their family was?
What would Biana think? She didn't seem too pleased when Keefe had made that comment that one time. So... would she think of him as a freak?
And what would his mother think? Would she accept him? She seems to like Dex already but... no, that didn't mean that she wants Dex to be apart of their family, or maybe one day become a Vacker.
What was Fitz thinking now? Dex becoming a Vacker? Yeah, no. Not happening! He wasn't in love with Dex! He wasn't!

He just...

...

Fitz couldn't.

...

Alvar ruined the family name once, Fitz couldn't be the second Vacker to mess up their family's reputation again.

I mean... Could he even ruin their family name if he just loved a boy?
There must be something wrong with it if Fitz had never been told much about this sort of thing before...
And he's never heard his father speak fondly of people who liked the same gender...

Though, Fitz would never know if it ruined the family name.
Simply because he was not in love with Dex Dizznee, a boy.

He needed to keep his distance from him. It was too dangerous to be around Dex in the moment.
Plus, Fitz would be fine. He'd have the company of...

...

Of girls who only liked him because of how noble he was and only cared for that and how attractive he was...

Yep. He'd be fine.

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Word count: 805