Ruin Me (#2 in the Brotherhood series)

Chapter 43

Rayna

The darkness around me consumes me like a moth to a flame. The silence is maddening. I've been in this cell for thirty one days.

I only know that because one of the men come in here once a day to give me food and water. Not that I actually eat.

I might nibble on the food, but most days my appetite is nonexistent.

Fear is not enough to describe how I feel. It's the feeling of not knowing who or why I was taken is what really triggers my anxiety. To make matters worse the cold, dark cell seems to keep dragging me back to that day Essy died, along with other unpleasant memories.

The door to the cell opens and in walks two men. The lights flicker on revealing both of the men's faces.

"Well aren't you a beauty." One of them says as he stoops to my level, "boss says that we can have some fun with you. What don't say?"

The anger inside of me rockets to another level. I spit on the man's face and begin choking him.

A sharp pain rips through my back before I have the chance to actually kill the man. A loud scream escapes my throat as another sharp pain cuts through my back again.

I get off of the man and crawl to a corner in the cell and turn my now bleeding back to the wall. The other man smiles and he waves the whip with sharp objects on the end of it.

"It could have been different dolly." He says with a deep Australian accent. "We could've had a good time, but instead you chose to hurt my friend."

Without hesitation he whips me again. "Next time you want to be bold you'll think again. Just for your little stunt we're going to have to teach you a lesson." The man says.

I try to scoot back further into the corner, but it's no use. The man who had the whip puts it down and begins kicking me.

I shut my eyes and I accept my fate. Maybe because the whips caused most of the pain, I no longer can feel what they are doing to me.

I allow my mind to drift to a memory of my grandmother, to distract myself from everything.

"Grandma, the kids at school say I'm ugly."

Grandma's head whips around, "and what do you say?"

I shrug my shoulders. I've never been confident like others. I'm the quiet child that has braces and glasses and likes to read. I'm the stereotype of what people think nerds look like.

As a result of that people don't like me; me being chubby doesn't help either.

"Why are you shrugging your shoulders Rayna Elle Lewis?" She says with her strong Jamaican accent. "Mek mi tell yuh something, don't allow anyone to lower your self esteem. Nuh mek nobody walk all over you. You are golden my child." (Translation: let me tell you something, don't allow anyone to lower your self esteem. Don't allow anyone to walk all over you.)

Tears fall down my cheek, "but what if no one will ever like me?"

She smiles, "I like you, no I love you. Your parents loved you, and one day you'll have friends and even a special someone who will love you as well. Nuh worry yuhself." (Translation: don't worry about it.)

Grandma always has a way to make even the darkest of days, turn into a day full of joy. It's something I've always appreciated and admired.

"You know what song will help you during a tough time? Three little birds by Bob Marley." Her smile widens and she hugs me as she begins to sing. "Don't worry, about a thing..... cause everything little thing is gonna be alright. Singing don't worry......"

I hadn't even realized the men had left the cell until I opened my eyes and was left with nothing but darkness.

As I see the pool of blood beneath me, all of my mental strength crumbles.

I try to crawl back to the corner of the cell, but pain shoots through out my body.

As tears stream down my face I start singing the only thing that has helped me through my toughest times. "D...don't worry..... about a thing. B..because everything little t..thing is gonna be alright."

I sing the words over and over again until I finally have enough strength to go back into the corner.

I try to remain hopeful that Zade will find me, but having too much hope is dangerous. I can't afford to do that to myself.

***********************************

Loud banging outside of my cell awakens me. The sound of gunshots only increases my anxiety.

My cell door opens and in walks Zade.

I practically sprint to him and he embraces me. "No one will ever take you from me again my love."

I smile and nuzzle my face in his neck. He came for me. He actually came for me.
**************
Pain shoots through my body, awakening me from my sleep.

The man who I choked holds a metal bat in his hand.

"You think I'd let, you choke me without me getting my full revenge on you? Think again?!" He swings the bad once again, hitting my shoulder.

"I'm sorry!" I scream out as my hands tremble from fear and pain.

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it!" He says as he grabs me by my hair and punches me several times in the face. "You're disgusting! You're nothing but another worthless, fat negro who forgot her place!" He throws another punch which lands in my stomach and knocks the air out of me.

As a struggle to breathe he uses that opportunity to grab his pocket knife and slash my chest. A shriek escapes my throat.

My entire body goes limp from the intense pain. He throws me on the ground before throwing one last blow to my face. The taste of blood in my mouth causes my empty stomach to turn.

I gag, but as a result of nothing in my stomach, it produces nothing but dry heaves.

Warm water is thrown on me. The sensation burns my new and older cuts. I hiss at the pain.

"Clean yourself up. The boss wants to see you in thrity minutes." He throws a black lingerie set on the ground along with six inch stripper heels. "He requests that you wear this. If you don't, I won't hesitate to do much worse to you." Before leaving he kicks my back.

I scream so loud I'm sure my vocal cords will be sore later.

I try to get up, I really do, but all the strength in my body is gone and replaced by pain. There's not an area on my body that isn't bleeding or in pain.

I shut my eyes and force myself not to cry. Crying won't solve anything. It won't bring back Essy, it won't help Zade find me, and it definitely won't wake me up from this nightmare that somehow became my reality.

Still, I pray Zade will find me. I need him to find me.