"I fucking love you Calum!" I yelled.
Letting those words finally fall out of my mouth, meaning what I wanted them to mean felt so good, so right. It was like sex. A weight had been lifted off my shoulder and it felt great.
He stared at me in disbelief, his eyes glassing over before he started laughing. "No, you don't. I hurt you, Cameron. I hurt you so bad."
"You're so fucking stupid! Why can't you just look past your asshole fucking ego and understand? That girl from your story?! She dropped her walls for her best friend. You said love scares you, well it fucking scares me too. You're so blind. I've been here for years, waiting for you to love me back and when I finally hear the words leave your lips, you.." I paused, swallowing a sob as my jaw wobbled, "You find another girl to please you. And it hurts because I have to sit here and watch it, and not say anything because I just want you to be happy."
He wiped the tears that fell down his cheeks.
"I hate you," I laughed, "I hate you so much." My laugh turned into a sob and my hand covered my mouth. He moved closer to me, wrapping his big arms around me and pulling my body into him. I just kept repeating it, "I hate you. I hate you." May not have meant it, but it suited the moment. Because at the moment, I did hate him. I wanted to deck him in the face in all honesty.
He just irks me.
His hand ran up and down my back slowly as he tried to comfort me. I wasn't crying anymore, but I was still in his arms, my head on his shoulder.
"I didn't know you could cry." He whispered.
A smile cracked on my face. "I didn't know I could either."
"I don't like that I was the reason."
"That's your fault." I lifted my head and looked at him.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, "I'm so sorry." He brought his hand up to my face, outlining my jaw with his thumb. "I didn't mean to hurt you." His thumb traced my bottom lip.
I pulled away, standing up. "I'm gonna get some bowls. Do you want anything to drink?" I walked into the kitchen, pulling two bowls from the cabinets. He followed me, grabbing two cups and filling them with soda. He pressed his front against my back while I was pouring rice into the bowls. I sighed, resting my palms on the counter.
"Don't stay mad at me forever, please." He whispered, kissing my shoulder. I turned to face him and his hands fell to my waist.
"Why shouldn't I be?"
"All I can give you are selfish reasons." He chewed on his bottom lip as I stared up at him. He looked sad, the way his eyes drooped, his cheeks stained with tears, his lips tugging into a frown. I leaned up, placing my lips softly to his. It was short, but it was enough to make his eyes glass over after I pulled away.
"It'll take some time to forgive you. But, I'm not as mad as I should be." I whispered, reaching up and brushing his hair out of his eyes. He smiled sadly, kissing my forehead lightly.
=
fuck
idk
srry bye
