Judy
What was I thinking letting Jordan have sex with me again, I thought I said I wouldn't let him, stupid foolish me
Oh God, I'm such a bad person, I'm dating Andre and I fucked Jordan again behind his back.
This is messed up and fucked up
And after that he still looked me in the eyes and walked away from me because I hinted back to wanting more.
I haven't spoken to him or called him since then.
I have outrightly ignored his presence, even though deep down I still find myself looking for his gaze among my friends, to see if he's staring at me, even when I'm with Andre i still think about him.
He hasn't said anything to me either, maybe he doesn't even care, or maybe he's too busy to be bothered with me.
I really wanted to stop him that day but there's something about the way Jordan touches me that makes me lose all my senses.
The moment his breath fanned my face, I lost everything called sense in me, I became a total puddle in front of him.
Now I can't even look at Andre, I'm just trying to play it cool so he doesn't suspect anything, I'm losing my shit.
I'm laying down on Andre's chest, trying to listen to his heartbeat to keep my head clear of any thoughts about Jordan.
"Baby are you okay"? He asked stroking my hair and I just nodded barely
"Yeah I'm good" I whispered sighing out
"You're just a little bit quiet tonight, that's all" he muttered and I just hummed, if only he knew what is going through my mind right now.
"I'm just thinking" I whispered and he hummed
"Yeah? About what"? He asked and I got up to face him
"Us, you and I, everything that's been going on" I breathe out and he just stroked my cheek with his finger before playing with strands of my hair "it's all just happening so fast, I'm scared" I whispered and he got up making me get up completely facing him.
"Hey baby" he cooed cupping my cheek "you have nothing to be scared of, I know it can be overwhelming but we're in this together okay" he whispered and I nodded "if you want us to cancel the engagement completely, I can still talk to my dad and he'll do that for me, at least now he knows we're together, that should be enough to give us more time" he whispered and I just sighed out.
"That's not why I'm scared" I muttered and he scoots closer to me
"Then what are you scared of"? He asked and I swallowed
"Why are you with me Andre"? I asked looking at my finger and he used his finger to raise my chin up so I'm looking at him
"Because I like you Judy, because you're my best friend, you understand me more that anybody ever did and because you're beautiful" he finished smiling and I just gave him a weak smile back.
"What if you stop liking me? What if I'm no longer beautiful or you find someone else you like more than me... Like Abby" I whisper the last part out and he frowned before holding my hand and intertwining it with his
"Baby I'm gonna keep telling you, I don't like Abby, and I'm not interested in her, never was. It's you I like, it has always been you and if you don't believe me you can get into my head and see for yourself" he muttered holding onto my hands tight and I start shaking my head.
"No I won't.... I can't, I can't go into your head, I will never go into your head no matter what, I don't wanna hurt you" I whispered and he smiled before pulling me close and hugging me, resting his chin on my head
YOU ARE READING
Selfish Love
RomanceCollege life of Five students isn't all that it seems. To ordinary people they're just your regular college students battling with the struggles of college life. But to them, it's more than that. They have to go to college, live to impress their par...
