Selfish Love

Chapter 45

Judy

"Baby aren't you ready yet? We're gonna be late for classes" I heard him yell from the living room
I picked up my bag and phone and rushed out.

He was standing close to the door and checking his wrist watch when I walked out, his eyes found mine and he smiled.

"Sorry" I mutttered taking his outstretched hand for me "bad hair day" I rushed out as he led me outside.

"You look beautiful baby" he muttered as we both entered the car and he drove off.

All through the drive I couldn't keep my eyes off him, I kept thinking and thinking.
It's been days since I wiped off his memories, and since then I haven't really had much rest or sleep.

Everytime I close my eyes I find myself back inside his head, the things I saw there, I never deserved to see.
The things I felt there, should never be for me, I don't deserve it.

Everyone has been telling me they think Andre is in love with me, but they have no idea how much he really does love me, how far he's willing to go for me.

"Are you okay baby"? His voice made me realize I'd been staring at him for too long.
I breathe out and swallowed before nodding my head

"Yeah I'm uhhh... I'm fine" I quickly looked away and stared out the window

Taking away his memory was much more than I thought it'll be.
It's making me feel more guilty than I thought.
I can't even look into his eyes anymore like I used to.

I've tried getting high to get it off my mind but it's not that easy.
Once I go sober again, I'm reminded how much of a bad person I am.

I haven't spoken to Jordan since then, what the hell do I wanna tell him?
He hasn't reached out either and I think it's better this way.

Our relationship or whatever it was, was bad for me, and it took me using my powers on Andre to realize it.
I went too far.

"Baby" he called before putting his hands on my thighs, I jumped a bit before looking at him, he had concern on his face "are you sure you're okay"? He asked and I nodded
He gave me one last look "okay, we're here" he whispered and I looked and realized we were already in school.

We both got out of the car and made our way to class, the moment we stepped inside my eyes raked through the rows of seats and I spotted Jordan, he was already looking at me, I quickly looked away, when I felt Andre's hands hold mine.

"Come on, let's go sit there" he whispered pointing to where Jordan was sitting, I sighed out and followed him there.
I wish we could sit somewhere else, I don't wanna sit with Jordan.

We stopped close to Jordan and I watched how he looked at Andre, like he was waiting for something, it has been like this, since that day.
"Hey man" Andre muttered before sitting down and I followed.

"What's up"? Jordan breathe out before his eyes found mine, I cleared my throat and looked away

Funny I didn't see any sign of Jack in the class, it's been a while I saw him.
The professor walked in and the chattering in the class died down, I opened my text book and tried to focus but I couldn't.

I could barely even hear what the professor was saying.
The things I saw in Andre's head was taunting me and making fun of me.

I have a man that loves me but I chose to mess around with one that made it clear that he could never feel that way for me.