it's the night before the race. lando wants to be so confident but he isn't ofc. he is blaming himself rn. in the bathroom. i can hear him. after a lot of bad things heard about him, i go in the bathroom.
"stop it."
"why? you should care about oscar. not me. i should care about you. and nobody about me..."
"huh? lando are you even thinking what are you saying?"
"i'm p12. what can i do more?"
"i will tell you"
we stay on the bed and i tell him all about what should he do. he seems to understand. but i stop when he starts looking deep in my eyes. i try to ignore him but he's like eating my soul.
"lando. stop eating my eyes with yours"
"does oscar do this?"
"oh my gosh you're so insane"
"insane? i'm the one insane? you have a boyfriend and you're flirting with his teammate"
"oh gosh, lando. he's my best friend's ex. why would i like him?"
"maybe you like him cause he's funny. you like funny guys"
"you are funny"
"maybe you like boys with straight hair"
"you have curly hair. i don't"
"maybe you like boys with brown eyes"
"you have blue eyes"
"maybe you like the 2023 rookie"
"you are the 2019 rookie"
"oh. how blind i was? i was thinking you like oscar but you know me too well..."
"give me one reason why i should like oscar more than you?"
"he has won even a sprint. i didn't win anything. he won in f2, f3"
"stop. you're an amazing driver. i hate to hear you blaming yourself. you and charles are the same"
"at least he won"
"you will win too. just wait"
"how much to wait, deli? i'm so tired of everything...except you"
i smile.
"you know that the season just started"
"i know but i want to spend more time with you. you didn't even spend time with me on the new years. not on christmas"
"i had some problems with my family...long story"
"you've been so distant to me recently"
"i know. i promise i will tell you when the things will calm down"
i feel my phone buzzing. i will ignore it. i don't think it's someone important. after 3 hours lando fell asleep. i decided to see who it was. holy fuck.
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what the hell? why should i break up with him? no. no. no. what?
end of chapter 20
short but at least it's something. first chapter of 2024. yay.
