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Kunini ngithi yho! Kuningi ande ngiyi one.

I don't know why I've been so blind to the hints. I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't think any of the people around me to be gangsters whatsoever. I'm not naïve or anything, it's just a bit far fetched. These people are high profile people. I would believe scamming but a whole gangster?

I think maybe if we were in the hood I could believe that or assume that from some past events but generally? The whole gang thing is far fetched. I mean, I'm Christian and i just went back to church and the way of the Lord. How do I accept that the people I spend most of my time around are doing bad? My own best friend is in a- oh my goodness! Shadow? NO NO NO NO! this cant actually be happening.

I feel for a whole fucken gangster?

"Shadow too?" I ask a little hopeful that they might even tell me it's a joke.

T just nods while they all have their heads bowed.
I scoff in disbelief as I fall to my feet, shaking my head no. This can't be happening to me. Not now, please.

"Princess listen," says Gumbi, finally. So he remembers he can speak?

"What Gumbi? You've been lying to me this entire time. Why?" I ask.

"What was I supposed to tell you? Would you have accepted me, us, for who we really are? We did this for your safety too. The less you girls know the better." He says, trying to reason with me.

"But you didn't even give me the choice to leave. I could have made up my own mind and took it from there. But instead you decided to get me close to you before dropping the bomb on me. You know how cutting you off will do to me Gumbi, you're basically my brother now" I say and he bows his head again and lets out a deep sigh.

I just cry. There's literally nothing more I can do. This is too much for one day and one person. As for Shadow? The arrangement is off. I want nothing to do with that lying gangster.

I just go upstairs to my room and grab a duffle bag with some of my stuff and essentials. I order an uber and make my way out with T shouting behind me. Once I get to the car I stop and turn to her.

"We'll talk, I just need some time T" I say with a sigh.

She nods with some tears in her eyes and her lips trembling. I just grab her into a hug and then get into the uber. Once the car starts moving I let it out again, but silently this time. I don't want this poor man thinking I'm crazy or just got dumbed or something like that.

When I get to the hotel I'll be crashing at for a week or so I check-in and they give me my room keys and I dropped my bag at the door before falling to my knees again.

I'm still a little traumatised by the whole Shadow thing but now I also have to deal with the whole gangster thing and the fact that my best friend is stuck with these people. Do I want to even still be around them?

My phone buzzes and it's Chloe, I decline the call. She probably already knows too and didn't tell me anything. I can't believe I've been so blind for so long. These are people I should trust but they do me like this. I can't associate myself with thugs.

My phone wouldn't stop buzzing so I eventually just decided to put it on flight mode until the next morning. Then went to sleep after spending about an hour drowning my sorrows in wine and ice-cream.

Next morning I woke up with the most killer headache. The world was spinning around and yho! Why did I even do this to myself huh? Plus, today is New Years Eve. I was supposed to have spent this day with my bestie and maybe family but now it's looking like I might spend it alone.

I cant go to my family in this state. They'll ask too many question that I won't be able to obviously answer because it has to do with gangsters. Oh kodwa mnge waze wangiyenza.

I finally decide to switch my phone back on and my phone is immediately flooded with texts and calls from different numbers ad different people obviously. What stands out to me are the threats that I'm getting from Shadow. I don't know who this man thinks he is. He can't possibly think that a couple of threats will make me come back or make me allow him to even speak to me.

He clearly thinks the world revolves around him this one. I swear. I just ignore his texts and even go as far as clearing everything that has been sent to me this far. I don't have to deal with any of this, especially not now, not like this.

After showering and getting ready I receive a call. It's him. He says it's either I come to him or he comes to me. Mxm. Wagafa ona for real.

I just hang up on him and call it a day. I go down to grab a package that they said was here for me. It's
probably the snacks I ubered.

I get them and head straight back to my room and guess who the fuck I find just chilling on my bed? Yep, you guess it! It's our best friend Damien! How he found this hotel is beyond me but then again, ke gangster aker.

I just ignore him and continue with my life. I won't give none of them the satisfaction of getting to me and making me feel like crap or like I can't live my life.

"Love" he says and I ignore.

"Baby, can we talk, please" my whore of a clit tingles at the pet name from his lips.

I still ignore him though and try to busy myself around the room. Suddenly the space feels too small for the two of us even though I thought it was too big for just me. He gets up and I feel him before he even touches my waist. I freeze.

I hate that he knows the effect he has on me.

"Damien" I say softly as I feel his lips on my neck.

"Baby, please, can we just talk about this" he asks.
I sigh and turn around to face him.

"No Damien, I'm tired and I don't want any drama today, I've had enough for the week. I'm just tired. I just want to relax and enjoy entering a new year man" I say genuinely exhausted from the past events.

He nods "Okay, lets just chill then. I won't bring it up and we can just enjoy the new year. But I'm not leaving you here alone" I let him be and just grab the snacks and switch on the tv.

I give him the remote since he has better choice at movies than me and we just order in and enjoy the day together. I didn't even overthink anything. I'll think about everything tomorrow. Today? I don't care. I just want peace and if he is willing to give me that while still being decent company then okay.
While we're chilling and talking about random stuff just suddenly turn my head to face him.

"Come here" he says pulling me to his lap to straddle him while he sits back on the headboard.
I just look at him with my arms folded.

"You're gorgeous even when you're angry" he says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes but a smile escapes my lips nevertheless.

"whatever" I say.

He then pulls my face closer to his and kisses me. I know I shouldn't be doing this. I'm supposed to be mad at him. I'm not supposed to be associating with a gangster but here I am, making out with one.

Grinding on one. Letting one roam their hands on my body and take over my neck. I'm losing myself to his touch and baby those hands are doing magic.
I just allow myself this one time to just completely let go and enjoy this moment. I will really just deal with everything tomorrow.

But then why would anything good ever happen to me right? His phone interrupts us. And at first we try to ignore it but it doesn't stop. He grabs hold of it and looks at the screen then at me. I grab the phone from him and its miss wifey.

Haike ngok. I look at him and back at the phone. Then I just hang up and put his phone on the side again and lean in to continue where me and my man left off. I don't give a shit. Today he is my man and tomorrow I can fight him and shit on him as much as I want the  cut him off but today? Owami. Thank you.

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