Arrangement : with the gang leader

30

It's about an hour until 12am and a new year! I'm currently in Damiens arms and I would be lying if I said this doesn't feel perfect. I just can't help but think that he wants to also spend this time with his family and friends.

"Damien" I say while lifting my head up to face him.

"Mhm, what's up baby" he asks.

"You don't have to be here you know. I can handle my own. Go be with your family and friends" I say genuinely.

A small smile plays on his lips, "How cute"

I roll my eyes and get off him and he just laughs. He brings me back to him and puts me on his lap facing him.

"Love, I'm right where I need and want to be" his gaze is so intense I have to look away in fear of breaking down right in front of him.

It's so strange how wanted he makes me feel. He makes me feel so important and special. I think that's why I was so mad at him when he disappeared on me when White got shot. Now I know why he possibly disappeared that time.

I fight the urge not to even bring that up since it's already playing on my mind but I did say that I will deal with everything tomorrow so I'll just keep my mouth shut and keep it pushing – for today that is.
I just snuggle into his neck and he holds me close.

"You're such a baby" he says and I just roll my eyes. I don't care that he can't see me.

His phone rings again and he reaches to get it. He answers it.

"Talk to me" he's so rude actually.

I've noticed that how he talks to me is so different to how he talks with his friends and other people. I'm actually intrigued by their conversation and fight the need to grab the phone and put it on speaker since that's what I usually do with T.

"Who is it" I mouth to him and he just smiles and pecks my lips, I pout.

"It's White. He wants to know how you're doing" he says after a while.

I shrug my shoulders and walk away.

I understand how unfair this may seem to White, T and Gumbi but in my defence, Shadow just popped up. I'm still mad and I will cut him off still but just not today. Like I said, I haven't really made up my mind about the whole thing as yet.

"Nah man, just give her some time." He says and walks away to continue talking to them on the balcony.

I just busy myself in the meantime. I feel like this new year will be so good man, a little dramatic but I'm excited. I feel like once I cut these thugs off then things will run smoothly but I know they won't let go with ease.

While sitting there I realise that I'll be entering a new year with Shadow and not T this year. It feels weird but at least I have the comfort of knowing that she'll be with her man and happy. Even though I wont be part of that happiness this year.

It all happened so fast. One minute I'm just chilling and Shadow is on his phone and the next there's bullets flying around the room and I feel my world crashing down. I duck for cover and the shooting continues. I can hear Shadow calling out to me but I'm too shaken to say anything so I just cradle myself and try to control my breathing.

"Lerato where are you?!" I can hear Damien ask around the room. I've hidden myself in the closet.

"Baby? Fuck no no no! I'm gonna fucken kill those bitches! Baby please are you in here?" he continues.

"Where the fuck are you? What happened to security?" He asks, I'm guessing on the phone.

"I can't find Lerato man. I don't know how they took her. She was right here sitting on the bed and now she's nowhere to be seen... no... just a shot on my arm-" that's all I needed to wake and go check on him.

I can't believe he's being stupid and going around the room like a headless chicken looking and worried about me when he got shot.

"Yalla, baby you're here" he says rushing to me as soon as he sees me come out of the closet.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Do you want something? Fuck, I'm so sorry baby. I promise this won't happen again. I don't know what happened-"

"You're right, it wont happen again because I want you out of my life-" I say cutting him off.

"No no no no! baby listen to me" he pleads.

"You need to see a doctor Shadow stop being so stubborn" I say while checking his wound.

"fuck the doctor and fuck what you just said. You're not going anywhere neither am i. We'll talk about this" he says rubbing his hands over his face.

"There's no talking Shadow. Like I said i-"

"Lerato please, don't piss me off. There's already a lot going on in my head right now" he says pacing.

His phone rings and he picks up.

"I WANT HIM DEAD. YOU HAVE 3 HOURS" he says picking up the phone. Then he hangs up.

"Please leave" I say after hearing that. I've had enough. Being around him and the rest of them will mean one thing and one thing only – always in danger.

I can't live like that. Not again.