The Souleater (Tamaki Amajiki x Reader)

22. Cursed Soul Bearer

Songs:

"Far From Home (The Raven)" – Sam Tinnesz

"Be Still" – The Fray

"We Have it All" – Pim Stones

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"To get lost in your own mind with no means of escape,

is a cruel punishment.

There is no salvation, no relief,

your fated to an eternity of misery and loneliness."

Ni removed his red hat and mask, once he stepped inside an empty room on the train. Glancing towards the large window, he was greeted with the night sky and rushing shadows. The whooshing sound and creaking of the moving train filled the eerie silence of the room. Exhausted, he made his way towards the chair next to the window, sat down and leaned against the glass. Carefully he took out his pocket notebook. Like he's done plenty of times before, he opened it to the last page and took out an old polaroid photo of a smiling teenage girl and boy. His dark eyes were devoid of emotion, as his indigo irises trailed the details of the photo.

It's been many years since this photo was taken. The crusted boarder had already yellowed and was falling apart in the corners. This picture was taken outside a café shop. For the first date he ever experienced. He couldn't help it when his hand shook while staring at the picture as conflicting emotions took over his sanity again. But before his mind could spiral down, and the anxiety could engulf him like it's done constant of times. Ni took out a bottle of medication from his pocket and downed the bitter pill with a small tequila shot.

That manufactured pill gave him somewhat control of his thoughts.

His mind was far gone you see, but thankfully the originator – the person who saved him, gave Ni this medication for his lost and wondering mind. This picture in his hand helped somewhat too, there were moments that he'd smile because of it, however then there were moments of rage because of it. His soul bearer mark's been fucking with him ever since it came into his life.

The constant delirium of old memories mixed with the present, made him go insane. People called Ni crazy because he would sometimes have outburst and lash out at the air, as though he was talking to someone. And that's the thing, he was. He had a ghost on his shoulder, for the rest of his life he'll be plagued by this presence because of the soul bearer mark. People didn't see what he saw. They didn't hear what he heard.

Whispers of her soft voice, shadows of her existence in every corner of his life. It didn't matter how many times he locked himself in a dark room and attempted to smack the thought of her away from his brain. His mind slowly cracked and broke, there were times he'd laugh hysterically because of this curse looming over him.

The curse of a soul bearer, who's mate died.

People were stupid to believe that being the soul bearer was a blessing in disguise. Being the soul bearer came with the responsibility of carrying your mates death should they perish. It didn't matter if they left the earth, because the mark itself refused to ever forget their mate mark, like a punishment for being alive. It didn't matter how many times he attempted to keep his mind occupied, her ghost always followed him.

However, Ni didn't have a choice, he had to kill her.

He had to.

This picture in his hand, the only memento he had of her was the only thing that would keep his soul bearer mark sane. Staring at it would give him some sense of peace for a little while. It was hidden in his notebook for a reason. He knew this picture like the back of his hand, he wished he didn't, he truly did. However, he could never bring himself to rip it apart. This picture was always with him, in his jacket pocket. On the constant missions, he took. When he slept. It was never more than a couple of feet away. Everywhere he went, he kept it close to him.