Essence

Chapter 26: Family Intervention

*Trigger Warning: Disordered eating & exercise habits/Negative thoughts toward self & appearance (weight)*

Two weeks later, Daniel stopped commenting on any changes to my appearance. I have been running twice a day now. Then there were the days I went to "work", at which point I went to the gym, then I'd shower and change into my work uniform there. I assumed there had been a vast difference, but I couldn't see it, and Daniel hasn't said anything. This drove me to work harder. I ate less and less by the day. One day I came back home from an intense gym workout, one of the most intense workouts I've done, but played it off as work, and saw my family sitting in the living room. Mom and Mark, Dad and Abby, my brothers, Desi, and, of course, Daniel.

"What's going on?" I asked nervously as I put my keys down.

I made sure that it couldn't be obvious I had worked out, since I'd gone straight from school to the gym.

"You tell us," Daniel hissed as he put my notebook on the table.

I began stuttering in shock. I thought I had my notebook with me.

"Where did you find that?! Why the fuck are you going through my shit?!" I snapped.

"Essence, what's going on with you?" Dad asked.

"Nothing... I'm just trying to drop a couple of pounds. Isn't that what you wanted me to do for the longest time?" I scoffed.

"E, you've lost a lot of weight. And in this amount of time, it's not safe." Daniel sighed.

"So you go call my family to come here instead of talking to me first?! I'm fine!" I barked.

"Essence, you're not fine, and we're all here because we care about you." Mom comforted.

"Bullshit! That's fucking bullshit, especially coming out of your mouth!" I shouted.

Everyone got quiet. I got lightheaded and sat down. Daniel rushed and got me water.

"Baby, you're damaging your body, not only physically, but mentally. You've become weaker, you're almost always in a bad mood, you never want to do anything, this whole thing is changing you." He said as he kneeled down in front of me.

"Of course, I'm always in a bad mood. I'm working my ass off and there's been no changes!" I hissed.

"E, step on the scale." He instructed.

"I can't." I sniffled.

"Do it." He demanded.

I sighed, but did as he said. I almost fainted when I saw how much weight I had lost in this time period.

"Thirty-four pounds? Why can't I see it?" I gasped.

"Essence, I think you might have body dysmorphia." Daniel suggested.

Body dysmorphia is an obsessive focus on a perceived "flaw" or multiple "flaws" in an appearance. People may think something is wrong with their body, but it could be imaged, so it isn't real. The most common type is seeing themself as bigger or smaller than they truly are based on their insecurity. For example, if they struggle with losing weight, they'd see themself bigger than they are, and if they struggle with gaining weight, they'd see themself smaller than they are as they progress.

I let out a sigh as I drank some more water.

"E, let me talk to you privately." Abby said as she got up.

I got up and followed her to a vacant bedroom. It looks like she's been here before when she and my dad were having an affair with how well she knew the house... wow. Abby took a deep breath before speaking up.