Essence

Chapter 28: Redefining Normal

The next day at school, Daniel and I tried to avoid each other. We needed space to move on. Myles dropped me off at school. We left after Daniel left with Desi, but I got to school before him. The friend group looked at me curiously.

"What?" I questioned.

"What the hell happened between you and Daniel? You guys love each other!" Syd pleaded.

"No, he loved me, b-b-but what I felt for him wasn't really love. I thought it was... but I didn't appreciate him at all. He loved me. I loved how he treated me." I admitted.

Everyone was confused as I sat down. I felt like crying, but I also felt like I was going to be okay. Daniel came in and sat down on the other side of the table. It sucks having the same friend group as your partner, 'cause then when the breakup happens, it's awkward.

"Spring Fling is coming up." Jayla beamed, trying to make things less awkward.

"I don't think I'm gonna go." Daniel and I said simultaneously.

We both looked at each other, then looked away.

"O-O-Okay." Jayla mumbled.

"Have you guys started practicing for the SATs yet? It's in three weeks." Syd said.

Me and Daniel were previously looking for a tutor so we could study together.

"Yeah, my parents got me a tutor. We should all study together." Manny suggested.

Daniel grabbed his things and began walking to his class. I hurried after him.

"C-Can I ask you something?" I queried.

"You just asked something, but go ahead." He smirked lightly.

I rolled my eyes before sighing.

"D-D-Do you still have the urge to relapse?" I asked.

He sighed before answering.

"Y-Y-Yes, but I've talked to my sponsor. I'm keeping him in the loop. I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me." He reassured me.

"Do you think we could ever go back to being friends?" I questioned.

"You have a lot of questions... but I don't know. R-R-Right now, no... but maybe in the future?" He said.

"Okay." I replied as I nodded.

He walked away as Syd walked up to me.

"You're going to be okay." She comforted.

"It's not me I'm worried about." I sighed.

"He's going to be fine, then." She said.

"He's having urges about relapsing. I broke him." I sniffled.

"He's going to be okay, Essence. You two weren't working, and not gonna lie. It seemed like you guys were going to end everything eventually." She asserted.

"I didn't think that way. I thought I loved him. A-A-And I feel bad for hurting him." I admitted.

"You don't really feel bad. If you did, this wouldn't be happening. This isn't the first time you cheated on him. You had feelings for Myles for all this time, and you knew that, but you stayed with Daniel and led him on." She explained.

"I didn't know I still had feelings for him. I-I-It was like underground feelings that I didn't realize I had until Myles brought up what happened between us." I pleaded.

"Essence. You knew." She hissed.

"Sydney. I didn't." I snapped.

"Essence, I know when you're lying. You knew deep down. You thought it would eventually go away, so you didn't mention it, but your feelings for Myles are there. You can't deny that you knew." She snarked.