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here you are ❤️❤️ Warnings: Suicide
Y/n's pov:
I walk into mine and my girlfriends home, expecting to be greeted with my girlfriend, happy to see me after ive been away all day. I am greeted by my girlfriend, but she is far from happy to see me "What the fuck is this- hmm?" i throw my bag on the floor, and shut the door behind me as i take in the sight of Jennas phone thats being shoved into my face.
My eyes furrow as i read the messeges shown to me. Hearing my girlfriend sobbing behind the phone, i pull the phone out of her grasp and try bring her into a hug "No! Dont fucking touch me, you said you didnt hate me! You said you liked me! And- and i believed you! You made me believe you!" I try find a moment within my girlfriends sobbing to tell her the messeges shed been sent of me saying I dont like her, i dont like at all, had nothing to do with her, but she wouldnt let me speak.
"I knew i was right when i thought you couldnt stand me, wasnt i-" Her rambling is cut off "ITS ABOUT EMMA!", i didnt mean to scream at her, she just wouldnt stop spiralling "Emma, she told me she liked me and those messeges weren't about you, they were about her, i dont hate you, i love you, i promise i love you more than life itself" I say as i wrap my hands around my girlfriend, who's face is bright red and covered in tears. As i run my hands through her hair, which is probably as messed up as it is because shed been pulling at its roots so much, i speak into her ear "I promise you baby, it was about Emma"
I hold her as she sobs into my neck. Jenna overthinks alot, its a really big issue sometimes, when we first started dating i reasured her every day that i did actually like her and wasnt dating her because i was bored or because she was famous, i didnt mind doing it and i dont mind doing it now, im glad to do something that puts my girlfriends mind to rest, i understand thinking these things is probably a thousand times more infuriating than having to constantly tell someone that what theyre thinking isnt correct. She tells me she hates the way she thinks, she hates how she acts towards me when she thinks like this, and i would hold her and reasure her forever if it meant shed never think this way again.
"Im sorry" she whispers into my shoulder, i place a kiss ontop of her head as i hold her tightly "its not your fault, love" we stay standing in our hallway for many minutes, Jenna just staying in my embrace, "Who sent you them screenshots Jen?" I hear her take a deep breath in before quietly saying Emma's name, "can you block her for me?" My girlfriend pulls her head out from the crook of my neck and looks down at the floor, fiddling with my fingers, "i will- im so sorry y/n, you know how i get-"
"I know, its okay" I hold her head in my hands as i smile at her, kissing her lovingly shortly after. "I dont hate you, i love you so much, do you know that Jenna?" she offers me a small smile before slightly nodding "I will never not love you"
Jenna's pov
I wonder if she still loves me, even though she isn't alive anymore and can't ever be with me again, i wonder if she looks over me and thinks of me as the woman she loved, the woman who made her hesitant to commit. I should've seen it coming, i should've helped her, but i didn't, she knew me and the way i thought like no one else ever had and is going to, i only ever wanted y/n, and now she isn't here. It's been 2 months since she killed herself, and i can't help but remeber how i never told her "i will never not love you too"
