Ive seen you before

a week later

𝗞𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃

It's been a week since I heard yns song, a long week infact, not speaking to her, not having her at training, not having her smile around, not having her laugh echo through the room, not seeing her with a football at her feet, not having those teasing jokes with her at training, not catching eachothers eyes at training across the pitch...not getting the butterflies I usually get when I hear her or see her.

It's like she's...gone.

I rarely see her anymore, she's usually in her room or gone somewhere in her car.

She doesn't speak anymore...and what makes it worse is that I need to speak to her, to tell her how awfully I regret not picking her up when the police rang. And just how I feel in general about her.

The feeling I get when I hear her laugh, see her smile...just being her.

I mean I think everyone knows it at training, that no one smiles like they did when yn was there, how they don't laugh as much since yns gone. And I think they see it in me...

The way I don't want to really speak to anyone now, as I'm not in the mood to, my minds just thinking of yn, wondering what she's doing or is she Ok.

I don't think I can deal with 3 months of arsenal with out yn.

If I'm still here.

__

We have no training today not till tomorrow morning.

I've decided I'd try speak with yn today.

But what do I say?

Well first of all, is definitely a sorry, then what?

Ugh, I'll just think of it when it comes around.

__

I'm sitting by the kitchen island, eating my yogurt. Then I heard yn coming downstairs, this could be my chance.

I hear yn get to the bottom of the stairs, then walk into the sitting room. Fuck sake.

Then I hear her start making her way to the kitchen. Oh shit, I'm nervous.

Yn, comes through the kitchen door and goes to the cupboards and then to the fridge, then turning the kettle on. She leans against the counter, while on her phone, waiting for the kettle to boil.

The speaker then behind her goes off, signaling she connected her phone to it.

The song "scared to start" begins playing.

This could be my chance.

I clear my throat "er...yn?" I say

"Ya?" She says not looking at me

"Can we talk?" I ask

"About what?" She says bluntly finally pulling her eyes out of her phone to look at me.

"Er...how I'm such a bitch...how I er...feel" I whisper the last part

Yn, sighs

"Fine but let me make my tea first" she says once the kettle boils

She then takes a tea bag from the cupboard and then makes her cup if tea.

After she's made her tea she walks to the opposite side of the island from me.

"Ok, I'm here now...speak" she says sipping on her tea.

"Look, I just wanted to apologise" I say

"For what exactly?" She says knowing what I am apologise for