Fifty Shades Forgiven

Burning rage

Chapter 6

It's been four hours since Christian Left, four hours of this empty feeling inside me and four hours of tears and heartache. I still don't understand where he would have gone and what he would be doing. I pray repeatedly 'please let Christian be safe, please let Christian be safe' and I am plunged into the dark memories of when Charlie Tango went missing.

Knowing that the kids are safe puts my mind at ease. I haven't yet told Grace that Christian has gone awol, I don't want her to worry, not until I know that there is something to worry about. Taylor is still in his office, he's organised for the security detail to drive around Seattle and see if they can find him. Barney in the office said that he hasn't been into work, and he didn't show for his two video conferences this morning. Christian never misses a meeting, ever! When he finally does come home he'd better hope that relief wins over the anger that I'm feeling right now.

"Ana?" Kate interrupts my gloat. I scowl at her.

"Are you going to have something to eat? Gail said you haven't eaten all morning" she pins me to the seat with her no-nonsense stare. Kate doesn't take any crap!

"Kate I'm not hungry! I'll eat when I know where my husband is!" I snap. My hormones are raging and as every second goes past, my worry is turning into anger. I know that I shouldn't take it out on Kate, but I'm sick of being told what to and what not to do!

I busy myself by attempting some work from home. I had 3 meetings with authors this week and had to cancel as Christian has forbid me from going in for the rest of the week. Sometimes, I don't understand this man. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. Christian won't let me work because he doesn't want me to 'stress out' yet causing me more stress than work ever has! Why the hell does he do this? A flood of guilt appears from nowhere, I can't just sit at home all day. I should be working, I want to be working. Sitting here is just giving me too much time to think, and thinking is bad. My mind runs away from me. How can I be so selfish? The authors I was suppose to be seeing have great potential for best selling books, they've brought some great material into Grey Publishing, infact, the best that we've had in a while, and deep down I know that I can't pass on this opportunity. I distract myself further by organising video meetings for the potential new authors, Christian surely can't object to that can he? I plunge into reading over the synopsis that the first author sent me, if if I'm going to publish this woman's book, I need to have a thorough understanding of this story. The research is a welcome distraction, although I still can't shake the bitter taste that's in my mouth.

Finally, after 6 agonisingly long hours the elevator doors ping to life. Christian comes strolling casually out of the elevator towards the great room. He looks heart-stoppingly beautiful. Relief floods through every part of my body and I thank the Lord that my beloved husband is home. As I gaze into his intense grey eyes, the tension between us is palpable, silence fills the room, and the only form of communication is the unspoken words that we are able to read from one another's locked eyes. Out the corner of my eye, I see Kate and Gail discreetly leave us alone in the large room. Time to fess up, Grey! My eyes follow his intense gaze as he cautiously steps towards me. He's now standing an arms length away from me, yet he makes no move to touch me. Smart move, Grey, smart move.

"Ana , I, I -" he stutters.

"Don't! " I snarl. This is my turn. As predicted, anger fuels in my gut. I can't believe he caused me so much worry, yet has the audacity to keep me from an honest day's work.

"I have just sat here for the last six hours going out of my fucking mind!! You can't tell me that the psycho that kidnapped your sister and tried to kill you is out, and then go out without so much of a note explaining where you are! Do you know how much I have been panicking Christian? Don't you ever do that again!" I glare at him, his expression is one of hurt and bewilderment. He doesn't know how to cope when I'm angry, even after all these years, it still shocks him. He hands his head and inhales a deep breath. I instantly regret my outburst and I just want to throw myself into his arms, so I do. He holds he for what feels like an eternity, and I'm so grateful that he's back. I rest my head awkwardly on his chest, as my growing bump is the only thing touching him.