Fifty Shades Forgiven

Sunken Troubles

"Here, let me do that" Christian calls as I take Teds life jacket out of the draw that's in the elegant sitting area of the boat.

"Okay, I'm just going to put Teds things in the room" I respond bluntly. I'm still pissed at him. At least his mood has brightened up since I scolded him back at Escala. Maybe it's the cool water breeze.

As I walk towards the bedroom, I see Christian strapping Ted in the bright orange vest, tightening the three straps at he does. I reach the bedroom and hang the bags on the other side of the door. Gheeze, has Christian packed the whole of Ted's wardrobe in this bag or what?

I re emerge into the living suite of our lush boat. Ted is whining and struggling out of Christians hold as he tries to tighten Ted's straps once again. Ted is attempting to shrug off the life jacket with frustration. His distress tugs at my heart strings, but he needs to keep it on for his own safety.

"Teddy, you need to wear this jacket for daddy because if you fall in the water, this will keep you safe" Christian says sternly. I can tell by his tone that he's trying to keep his frustration at bay.

"Nooo don't want to" he whimpers and whines, trying to push Christian's hands away from him. This is Christian's fault. Ted doesn't want to listen to Christian,why would he? He's practically ignored the both of us for the last few days. I march over to where Christian is kneeling and kneel beside him. He stands to give me some room.

"Teddy, you have to keep this on for mummy and daddy okay. We don't want you to fall into the water because it's dangerous." I explain clearly to him. He nods.

"Mummy's wearing one too, we will match" I add, his face lights up, I can also see a trace of humour in his eyes.

"Like me?" He says excitedly.

"Yes just like you. And if you're a good boy, I bet daddy will let you drive the boat with him" I whisper in his ear, loud enough for Christian to hear too. His eyes shoot up at Christian with anticipation.

"Yes Ted you can come and drive the boat with me, let's just get mummy a life jacket too" he takes a larger one out of the drawer and holds it for me to put my arms through it. As I turn round he pulls the straps and clicks them in place, although the vest only reaches the edge of my bump. Christian looks down at the vest in disapproval. I assume it's because the vest isn't fitted to his control-freak standards.

"You'll do" he sulks. I roll my eyes and he scowls at me. Ha! He can't even threaten to spank me. That's an advantage of being pregnant. Although, I do miss those silver balls.

I stand on the deck and look out at the beautiful clear water. The swaying and rocking sensations of the boat calm and relax my tense body. Out here, standing on the deck against the railings is the one place that I can clear my mind, exhale the negative energy and inhale the positive. Things have been so tense with me and Christian lately. I just wish I knew what was wrong, if I know, maybe I can help. It hurts knowing that whatever is stressing him out, he's facing alone. But this is his choice, he has to want to open up to me.

I think that my earlier outburst shocked Christian. His mood has shifted dramatically and he seems lighter. Christian and Ted are at the wheel, maybe some proper father son time is something that they could benefit from every now and again. A giggle erupts from Teddy's little lungs, I turn to watch them, he's looking up at his dad in awe, I'm guessing that he's forgiven his father. I stand there for what feels like eternity, just taking in the beautiful sight before me. Despite the arguments and stress, I just feel so grateful that I have these two beautiful boys in my life. We've overcome so much, I just hope whatever has been going on for these last few days doesn't bring it all crashing down.