Fifty Shades Forgiven

Cold companions

It's been four days since we got that dreaded note from Hyde. I still haven't managed to shake that horrible feeling gripping my gut. Christian still won't let us back to the house, he's had all of our things brought over to Escala but won't tell me why. He's been so distant and cold the last few days, not just to me but to Ted too. I don't know what's bothering him, but that's because he won't open up to me. Why must I have this argument with my husband all the time? He should want to tell me, open up to me. But at the moment, I just feel like me and my son are in the way. Just an inconvenience to him.

We're all going out on The Grace today, me, Christian, Ted and I assume Taylor will be coming with us. I hope the space will allow Christian to open up to me, whatever is on his mind, it must be serious.

"Momom" I am interrupted from my deep thoughts by Teddy tapping my leg. I look down at his beautiful face.

"Yes baby?" I stroke his perfectly soft cheeks. He holds his hands out in a 'pick me up' gesture.

"Good boy! Well done for eating all of your breakfast!" I pick him up and put him on my lap, sprinkling lots of little kisses on his little ears. He giggles, loud and carefree and it's the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Shall Ted and mommy go and take a bath?" I ask and he nods his head in excitement. Christian is in his study, he's been working in there since he woke up. I put Teddy on the floor as he runs towards our bedroom.

"Be careful Ted!" I call.

As I get into the bedroom I take my boys hand and lead him into the bathroom. I turn on the faucet and the steam fills the room, making the air stuffy and warm.

"Ducks!" I hear Teddy call.

"You want the ducks in the bath baby?"

"Ye. Blue one and wed one and lellow one" I giggle at him. His talking really is coming along nicely.

"Well done! Let's get get you undressed." I quickly remove his pyjama bottoms and top and then his nappy. He's been potty training for a few weeks now and he's doing so well. He only wears nappies at night or when we are out. He's growing up too fast. I put a generous amount of bubble bath in the tub and switch the hot water off and put the cold water on low. I quickly remove my night dress and underwear. Putting my hand in the water I swirl the bubble mixture so that the whole bath erupts in bubbles. I turn off the cold water and pick Ted up and climb in the bath with him.

The water soothes and massages my aching limbs. I usually prefer to have my baths warmer but I can't when I have Ted in the bath. As he sits opposite me, I watch I'm in awe as he plays with his ducks, mimicking them with a quacking noise. He's so clever,but then again he is Christian's son so I never expected anything less.

"Teddy, what colour is this ducky?" I point to the orange duck. He looks at it, his brow furrows as he concentrates at the plastic toy in front of him.

"Erm, lellow?" He stutters.

"No, look again, what colour?" He looks at it confused. Maybe I should help him out.

"O- o -or" I mouth quietly to him. His face lights up.

"O-winge it owinge"

"Yes baby that's right well done!" He smiles, he's incredibly happy and proud of himself.

"Right let mummy wash your hair" I turn him round and pull him towards me so that his back is facing me.

"Put your head back" and he does as he's told, resting his head in my hand. With my pare hand I pick up the sponge, soak up the water and rinse the water over his floppy copper hair. I repeat this once I've shampood and conditioned his lovely locks, he wiggles as the water tricked down his face, although he doesn't cry like he used to.

An entire 20 minutes passes and the water is starting to cool.

"Ted, time to get out now baby"

"No bit longer mummy" he whines.

"We can't, we have to get ready, we're going on daddy's boat today" I get out of the bath, and wrap a robe around myself, tying it just above my bump. I take a towel and help Ted stand up in the water, wrapping it around him as I take him out. I place him on the floor and wrap the fluffy soft towel around him more tightly before carrying him to the bedroom.

"Where daddy?" Teddy asks.

"He's in his office working, baby" he looks down, sad and frustrated. Christian has hardly spent any time with him the last few days and it's really taking its toll on Ted. That's how I know that something is seriously wrong, because even my boy has picked up on this strange behaviour.

An hour later me and Ted are both showered, dried and dressed. It's 8:12 so I assume Christian will be ready to leave soon. Teddy looks perfect in his little sweats and hoody. The breeze when we are on the boat will be quite cool, so I want him to be as warm and comfortable as possible.

I walk with Teddy to Christian's office. As I get to the door I can hear him on the phone.

"Yes, I'll try and make it tonight. Yes... No wait there until I get there... I'll bring them don't worry about it. Yes... Goodbye" he snaps the phone shut. Who the hell was that? I walk into the office without knocking, I shouldn't have to knock but why do I feel like I'm interrupting something? As I get into the room he looks up with an irritated expression. When he realises it's me his face softens.

"Were ready, what time are we leaving?" I whisper.

"Erm, now I'll just go and get a jacket" he says bluntly. He stands as he walks from around his desk Teddy pulls at his legs.

"Daddy! I got o-winge duck I - I got it wight" he squeals to Christian in excitement.

"Cool" Christian mutters before giving Ted a brief smile and leaving his office. What. The. Fuck. Anger erupts through me. What the fuck is his problem. I don't care how mad he is, he will never ever do that to my son again. I look at Ted and hurt and sadness is evident in his expression. It breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. I kneel down so that I'm on his level. Although this probably wasn't a good idea as it's going to be a struggle getting up.

"Daddy is just tired because he's working baby. You can play with him on the boat okay?" He nods and comes into my arms for a cuddle. I hate seeing my boy like this.

Mrs Taylor is occupying him in the kitchen when I go back into the front room.

"Mrs Taylor, please could you watch Ted for a minute please" I call. She comes over to us and takes Teddy from my hold.

"Thankyou Gail" she smiles and makes her way back to the kitchen. Hm, even she must notice a shift in Christian's behaviour.

I go in search of my husband. He's in the bedroom packing a messenger bag. He has a white t-shirt on with denim jeans and a navy pin striped jacket. What's in the bag? He turns to look at me and continues doing up the bag.

"What's in the bag?" I ask bluntly.

"Erm. A spare set of clothes for Ted, incase he gets wet or we decide to go out afterwards." He responds. Oh yeah, I hadn't thought about that.

"Christian, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I snap. I am not letting him take his moods out on my child. He frowns.

"Watch your mouth!" He warns.

"Ana, I just have a lot on at the minute, with what's going on with Hyde I never know what's going to happen. I have no control over any of this, but you don't ever listen, that's why I come across as harsh." He explains.

I gaze at him in utter shock. How is this an excuse for him being so cold and distant? What the hell has that got to do with anything? This is no excuse for the fact that he's just practically ignored his own son.

"So that gives you a reason to completely ignore your own son?" I shout.

"I wasn't ignoring him. I was coming to get ready."

"Christian, he was telling you something that he was proud of and you walked off! He's your son Christian, you better start treating him like it. These last few days you've been so distant, we've barely seen you at all! He's hurt Christian he wants you to spend time with him. I have no idea what the fuck is up with you but you better change your attitude and mood before we leave this apartment or we aren't coming on this boat!" I march out of the room. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Grey!