Fifty Shades Forgiven

Wrapped Up

Friday 15th June day time

I scurry down the hall towards the door to answer the ringing doorbell. Opening the door, I step out onto the porch and greet the scruffy looking mail man.

"Delivery for Mrs. Grey? I need to you sign just here please" he confirms, tracing the dotted line on the crinkled off-white paper. Hastily I scribble my signature on the paperwork, eager to take the package inside.

"Thank you" I say politely as Bear Grylls hands me the largely wrapped box. Anticipation runs through me, I am so exited to see what the final product looks like. Christian is going to love it, he really does appreciate the personal touches to a gift. My fifty is very sentimental.

On my way back through to the kitchen I pop my head around the lounge door where Theodore is crouched on the floor, playing with his trains that Christian got him for his birthday.

"Theodore do you want to come and see what we have got daddy for his birthday?"

He jumps up in response, eager to see his creation. For someone so young he is very proud and passionate about everything he does. Just like Christian. My two peas in a pod. As I walk back the kitchen, Ted toddles beside me, in attempt to catch up.

I place the box on the kitchen island and lift Ted onto the counter beside it, standing in front of him so that he doesn't fall.

"Shall we take a look baby?" He nods in anticipation.

I carefully peel off the tape, careful not to rip the box. Inside is a large, pre-wrapped box. That's my present to Christian,  but it's not suitable to be opened in the presence of such innocent eyes. On top of that, is another smaller, polystyrene box. I haven't yet wrapped this one, I wanted to see what the final product looked like before I gave it to my husband. Only the best for my fifty.

I delicately open the box, I lift out the plain white mug. I examine it closely. Yes. This is perfect. I turn to my beautiful big eyed boy.

"Look at daddy's present Teddy, do you like it?" I say enthusiastically. He looks away, un-phased by his creation. When he sees it work its magic, I'm sure he'll be a lot more interested.

"Ted, do you want to help me wrap daddy's present?"

"Ye mommy I do it" he says. I run my hands through his floppy hear and hook my hands under his arms, and place him gracefully on the ground. I hold him my one hand as I carry the gift in the other, walking him to the table. I place Theodore in his chair and take some wrapping paper, scissors and tape out of a near by cupboard before returning to the table.

"Right baby, we have to be really careful when we use the scissors okay so mummy will do this part" I instruct, opening out the paper and cutting off a large section. I follow by cutting off several strips of tape and sticking them on the edge of the table. After putting the scissors aside, I wrap one side of the paper over the box.

"Okay Teddy, take some tape and stick this bit down, mummy will hold it in place for you".

He takes the tape, and directs his full attention to the task at hand. His fingers cling to the sticky plastic as he moves his hands towards the paper, sticking it down. As I look at my baby boy I watch him stick his tongue out and he runs his finger over the seal, sticking it down firmly.

"That's it my baby, well done".

The next fifteen minutes fly by as I patiently wait for Theodore to wrap his dad's present. It's slightly messy but it was done by my baby boy, which will mean so much more to Christian.

"Mum we show dad mum we show him?" He says excitedly.

"Baby we can't show daddy until Monday, when it's his birthday so we have to keep it a secret okay?" I say, kissing his hair.

I really am looking forward to Christians birthday. It's his last birthday as the three of us, I want to make it special. I hope he's looking forward to having dinner at his parents on Monday, it will be lovely to see all of the family again, and it's great that Ted can see more of them too. The Grey's all have such busy careers, I sometimes feel a bit like a trophy wife, despite working. My income is contributing nothing to us, it's nothing compared to Christian's. Working makes me feel better, useful. I will take a few months more leave once Phoebe is here, but then I shall go back to work as soon as she's old enough. I just love my job, working is my way to escape the hectic and manic life of being a Grey, although I wouldn't change it for the world.

The sun pierces brightly through the gaps in the kitchen blinds, sending waves of light across the room. Living in Seattle, we're lucky if we get the sunshine. Ava should be here in a couple of hours so I have a little time left with just the two of us. I consider taking Ted in the pool for a swim, but since the accident on the boat, he's a bit cautious of being in the water, although he isn't as bad as he was. My positive mood is dragged down by the upsetting memory of his first encounter with water after the accident.

A piercing cry leaves his dainty body as his toes touch the surface of the water. I struggle to hold him as he kicks his legs, and grasps my arms frantically.

"Baby, it's okay, mummy's got you, you're okay" I whisper, bringing him back up to my body so that he's close to me. I smooth his cries, stroking his hair and rocking him gently side to side as I hold him awkwardly on my bump. Oh come on baby boy. As he calms down, I prepare myself to gently lower him back in the water. As he gets closer to the bath tub, he kicks and screams frantically once again, kicking my bump and sending pain signals through my belly. My poor baby. Pain lances through me, I hate to see him like this, it breaks my heart. A stray tear escapes my eye and glides effortlessly down my cheek. Why can't I make it better for my baby boy?

Just on cue the door creaks open, Christian stands at the threshold, dumbfounded by the sight before him. He goes to speak and then closes his mouth again.

"Ana, baby what's wrong?" He says, taking several strides towards me and pulling us both into his arms. He strokes my hair as I weep into his chest, holding my son closely to me.

"Lets try again" he suggests softly, taking Ted from my arms. He kisses me on my head and turns himself around to face the bathtub.

"Teddy are you going to play in the bath? Where are your duckies?" He says. As Christian places him in the bath, he clings to his arms and stands, desperate to get out.

"Ted, it's okay, look, daddy's got you I'll hold you".

After a few seconds, Theodore puts all his trust in his father, and sits down slowly, the water lapping around his legs. He holds Christian by the arm as he slowly calms. Why doesn't my son trust me? He obviously feels more comfortable with Christian bathing him because he was his hero. The one who saved him. Whilst I just stood there. My heart shatters into a thousand more pieces as I realise that my son doesn't feel safe with me.

I sit on a chair and watch both of my boys playing in the water. All Theodore's fear almost forgotten with just his dad's presence.

"Ana don't worry, it isn't your fault. Kids sense it when you're distressed that's all" he murmurs softly. Despite his efforts, it doesn't make me feel any better.

I pull myself out of the melancholy memory. Let's not do this, Ana. Today's a good day, let's make it worth while. Im looking forward to having Ava today. It will give us a taste of what it will be like having our baby girl around soon.