Take my hand. [Ben Bruce fan fiction]

Chapter Forty-Two

10PM

(Lucy POV)

It was really late, I was sitting on a wall, watching the tide go out. The lights of the city were so beautiful around me, there was a few kids on the beach, smoking, drinking and singing songs. I smiled at them.

They seemed so happy being in a group of people, just being able to enjoy life.

I felt tears still rolling down my cheek, I hadn't stopped crying since the trouble with Ben earlier. I had wandered off into the city, looking in shops, I ended up sitting in a bar for a while. Now I was just watching the life around me.

All of a sudden, I saw someone walking up next to me, I gulped as they climbed onto the wall and sat down next to me, watching the tide also.

I looked a little, it was Ben, I didn't know how he had found me here. I'd been hiding away for the past few hours, I just ignored him and looked at the tide also, acting like I didn't even notice him there.

He sighed, and began to speak to me. "You know. I never wanted to lose you again, but I guess. It was just going to happen wasn't it?" 

I sat, completely ignoring him, I sniffled, feeling the tears start up again, I looked to the other side, hiding my face from him, I rubbed my eyes with my jacket sleeve.

Ben hugged me, he didn't seem like he'd ever let go. I never reacted in a bad way at all, I just let him hug me, as I cried and cried.

"I hate everything about you, yet somehow I still love you.." I almost mumbled.

Ben pulled back and just looked right into my eyes, with sadness and sorrow. He frowned, and gulped. I knew I had just hurt him. Which was good I guess, I was kind of bored of the one being hurt.

"I'm, sorry Lucy. That I'm a peice of shit guy, who can't end up keeping a girl in his life. I'm sorry that I love you so fucking much, ever since we first met those years ago, I've loved you. You know that, don't you?" Ben said.

I just nodded. "I do know that..." I muttered.

Ben rubbed my arm. "Exactly. I couldn't face a life without your light. That's a fact, not just something 'sweet' to say to you, to make you come with me back to the house. To talk everything over there." 

That's when I felt slightly shocked. Ben was being serious this time, not just trying to act like everything was fine. He really knew how down I was.

"The last time this happened, something like this. I didn't chase after you as much as I am doing now. Back, then I knew I didn't do anything wrong, some random girl kissed me and it was all blown out of proportion, you found happiness without me. That's why I didn't come after you. But now, right here. I do NOT want to let you go, I want to be chasing after you, I wanted to make you feel like the most perfect girl ever. I can't lose you again Lucy, I know I've done wrong this time, I was dating another girl at the same time as seeing you, I know how that feels, believe me or not. But I do, and it's the shittest feeling ever." Ben started to cry. "I can't stand the fact that I've made you feel that way. I'm so fucking sorry."

I looked right at Ben and frowned, these were genuine tears, not fake at all. I sighed, then kissed him.

This may have seemed like a kiss just to shut him up, to stop him crying etc. But no, this was real, he did actually make me feel special, he knew how to play with my heart strings, he broke one of them, but now, kissing him was fixing it back again. 

We pulled back, Ben looked right into my eyes, but I just kept looking down, he kissed my head. Then we hugged, tightly, like people who'd not seen eachother for years, like they'd honestly missed eachother so fucking much.

Me and Ben, then didn't say a word, we both just got off the wall and started heading back to the house. Not a word the whole way, just holding hands and being in silence, perfect silence...