Work In Progress |L.T| |A.U|

XVIII - Atkins

XVIII - Atkins

Someone shoot me. Please, it'd be a massive favour.

I can't take it anymore, the pain I'm feeling in my chest and the utter humiliation, it's just too fucking much.

Why? Why did I do that?

I just... he was staring at my lips, and I thought... ugh! I was being naive, I mean... I knew that he doesn't believe in relationships, he doesn't even like the friends with benefits shit. Fuck! I'm a such a stupid moron.

Am I hurt from his rejection? Of course I am. I fancied him for crying out loud. But do I think of myself any lesser than I used to just because he denied me? No. Not a single ounce of my self -worth depends on his acceptance of me.

It's mostly the humiliation that I feel. and now that it's morning and everything, I've been reliving that moment inside my head a million times since I woke up and every time I have a cringe attack. (Yes, I watch Dan Howell's videos, spare me.)

And to top all that, I also have to think of the perfect time to tell my parents about my pregnancy. I don't know how long we'll be staying here, but I don't think there's much time left, so I need to do it and I need to do it soon. I've played out many scenarios inside my head by now and by now I have nothing; so yeah, my expectations for today aren't that high.

When I make my way downstairs, my parents are already seated on the table, granddad is being taken upstairs by Marilyn and Louis isn't here yet. Good, maybe I can eat real fast and go back to my room and successfully avoid him. Just when the thought crossed my mind, I hear footsteps and on turning around, guess who I see. Nope, it's not Zac Effron. It's Louis Tomlinson.

Our eyes meet for a fraction of a second before I quickly avert my gaze to the walls behind him as he makes his way to the empty seat beside me. This isn't  awkward at all.

Memories of last night play in my head like a fucking tape recorder that seems to be stuck. I can only imagine how stupid I must have looked, leaning in eyes closed, lips puckered. I just made a fucking fool out of myself.

"Good morning Max, Cassy." Louis greets the two of them, "Morning babe." his voice seems to sound more high pitched when he greets me.

I don't have it in me to greet him back so I just nod, and my parents greet him back, properly.

"So, Aurora" mother puts her fork and knife down before looking at me with that overly sweet smile on her face,"I believe that you had a wonderful time yesterday."

I clear my throat before putting my own silverware down, "Yes mother. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying."

"It was a great party sweet-heart." Dada adds with a gentle smile, but she pretends to not hear him; she's really good at doing that, pretending not to know of other's existence.

"I saw that Zayn was there." Oh... so that's where this is going.

"Yeah, he told me that you invited him, or should I say you insistent that he'd come." I think Louis just scowled, or maybe I'm just seeing things.

"He told you that?" She doesn't sound much surprised.

"He did."

"Well I'm sure that the two of you talked about other things too." She picks her fork up and goes neck to the pancakes before her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I know I'm frowning, but with my mother I just can't help it.

"Nothing." she sighs.

Should I let it be or should I pester her for an answer? Before I could make my mind, she decides to speak, "You two looked good last night."

I stay silent, not knowing what to say, thankfully Louis speaks up, "Thank you."