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XLI - Tomlinson

I was just too excited for this to wait.
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XLI - Tomlinson

Do you know what the worst kind of idiocy is? Love.

It's like, like you know that there is this massive wall in front of you but you keep accelerating towards it with a massive smile knowing that your doom lies ahead, but happy for it. It is a known fact that love does that to people; make them helpless and stupid, but they still aspire for it. They all aspire to find their 'the one'; one to love and cherish. Oh, how dumb they are.

I never wanted to do this, never. I would rather have slept on shards of glasses rather than this. But then, I saw them.

Him on his knees, hands on her belly and talking to my baby with that fucking smile on his face. And her, happy to be with him, blushing, laughing and enjoying life.

Did she even know how much I was suffering? Did she even miss me as much as I do? Did she stay awake at nights, staring at the ceiling, wishing that the bed wasn't so cold?

Didn't look like it.

I should have guessed it. She never loved me, she always loved him. That's what she once said, didn't she? That no matter what, a part of her will always love that scoundrel.

Everything that happened yesterday   had added up to it. The fact that I had to go to my office besides me normally working from home nowadays. I was surprised when Liam said he needed me in the office today, but when I got there, there was nothing much to do. But you don't argue with the boss.

So I just sat on my chair, thinking of her, wondering what she must be thinking. I would've given anything to just hear her voice or look at her, but her wishes were clear, space; she needed space.  So I just dwelled in my own loneliness, dreading the moment I'd have to go back to the empty flat that I was bound to call home.

She was my home, always. That smell of vanilla that clung to her skin and the her lavender scented hair, they screamed comfort and for the past two months I'd been deprived of it.

I needed her. I needed her head on my heart, she needs to hear it beat for her, only her. And it was pure agony, I was going through hell and she was the prettiest hell I've been in, I don't mind burning at all.

When Liam came rushing to my office and told me that I could go home at 6 pm, it felt unusual. My work doesn't end till seven. But I still took my stuff and made mind of going to see Harry after this.

Sadly fate had other plans. I was descending from the lift after telling Amanda to put the files in the place. She must have been on her way too.

Just as I'd stepped out of the lift, I saw them. I felt everything around me vanish and it was just them. The sound of the lift doors closing had turned into a insignificant blur as I kept looking at them.

I was unable to look away. How could I? I was seeing her for the first time in two months.

She looked so beautiful, her pictures in my phone didn't do her any justice. She was so much more beautiful when I actually got to see her. That blinding smile that she had, the way her cheeks flushed at what she said, it took my breath away. And then he was kneeling before her.

I wanted to go there right then, stop whatever moment they were having, I couldn't let that happen. But I was frozen, bolted to the ground. She needed space, she said she'd come to me first. I had to respect that.